[Verse 1: fast-talking Philly-accented male MC, rapid and talky over the pounding drums] Manila envelope, one name on it, Lonnie Pruitt Fifteen years I been servin' papers, I was born to do it Found a man who faked his funeral, I served him at the wake Found a dentist down in Florida and served him on his cake I can find you in a blackout, I can find you in a crowd I can find you at the stadium when everybody's loud But Lonnie, Lonnie Pruitt, Lonnie's slippery as soap Lonnie sees me on the corner and he's gone without a note Seen me at the corner store, he left without his change Seen me at the barbershop, he ran with half a fade [Hook: Philly MC, rapid, the strings stabbing every line] You been served, you been served Ran three weeks from an envelope, you got some nerve Ducked me at the wedding, caught you comin' 'round the curve Sign right here, my man, you got what you deserve [Verse 2: faster, the rimshots crackin'] Week one, I'm the florist with a dozen yellow roses He goes out the bathroom window and he lands on both his elbows Week two, I'm the pizza man, extra cheese, a large He's hidin' in the dumpster with the lid down in the yard Week three, I'm at his cousin's wedding in a rented tux Caught the bouquet by accident, the bride was outta luck Lonnie saw me catch it and he sprinted through the tent Knocked the chocolate fountain over, man, and nobody knew where he went He been sleepin' in his car behind the diner on the pike Changed his number, bought a wig, and now he's ridin' on a bike [Hook] You been served, you been served Ran three weeks from an envelope, you got some nerve Ducked me at the wedding, caught you comin' 'round the curve Sign right here, my man, you got what you deserve [Verse 3: stop-time, the band hits only on the one of each bar while he reads the papers out loud] Friday, six a.m., I'm sittin' on his hood when he comes out He's too tired to run no more, he sits down on the curb and pouts Says "Go 'head and read it, man, just tell me what I owe" So I open up the envelope and read it nice and slow "In the matter of the estate of Miss Odetta Pruitt, deceased To her only livin' nephew, Mister Lonnie, if you please She leaves the house on Wharton Street, the station wagon, and the rest Of her savings and her bonds," and Lonnie's hand is on his chest Three weeks he ran from roses, ran from pizza, ran from me Jumped a fence and swam in chocolate, runnin' from a guarantee Then he signed it with my pen, and then he cried and hugged my neck Said "I thought you were my landlord." I said "Lonnie, check the check" [Hook] You been served, you been served Ran three weeks from an envelope, you got some nerve Ducked me at the wedding, caught you comin' 'round the curve Sign right here, my man, you got what you deserve [End]
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