controlled demolition of the soul

horror hip-hop, cinematic dark rap, spoken-word/ritual chants

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V4.5-ALL

Ever stood in the darkest place you could imagine, what if I told you (that’s where)
The biggest part of my (Soul died), and from that moment onward nothing inside me ever truly felt the same again. When this happens, the whole world you seen through your eyes changes forever, because (first you)
Learn you didn’t die (You survived), but survival alone don’t heal the damage underneath your skin. But why do I feel like I have to sacrifice a lot? Well what feels like the lot is really just the price I pay (to be)
The man I deserve to be (Requires more)
Attention than I ever gave myself before, and a better process of my thoughts put into all of this before I could go and do this all over again. So I reread what she wrote, trying to understand every word, and (then I)
Must walk before I learn how (To soar)
And rise above everything that made me feel lower than anything that lays in the ground, forgotten and buried beneath the weight of my own mistakes. For once I’ll be like the early bird who (gets the)
Love and hate ripped from (My mind), while it ticks and ticks like a time bomb and every thought takes (me to)
Places where the rest of the world is hard
(To find), especially anyone out there who thinks how I do, someone with understanding alike me, somebody who can look through the damage and still remain. (Do you)
Like what you see inside (The mirror),
Because it always shows me what others see, but it never shows me who I truly am beneath all the fear and anger. If it did it (would show)
All my flaws a little (Bit clearer), but every time the reflection would show back the version of me that I liked the best, cause to not be able to see clearly is better than (to see)
Everything that I’ve done with my (Wasted time),
And every opportunity I destroyed with my own hands before I ever gave it the chance to live. If only I turned away and had left before she could scream out to me, because when (I said)
I would build a better and a (Stronger mind),
I truly believed I could become someone better than the man standing there before her. And to have a stronger mind means I’d have a better sense of making the right decision, and all that in which I feel (I needed)
To know why I chose to do the things (I did),
And why I could not take the chance which could have made the situation not turn out as such, cos (this was)
The worst mistake I ever made, with it (I live)
Every single day like a punishment I handed down to myself. Like this and so be it, who cares what they think? Who the fuck are they anyway? They ain’t better than anybody else, so (they can)
Never truly forget the weight of (My choices),
Because those choices are all mine to be made. Hell yeah I’ve made many that I wish I could turn back time and change, but we (all know)
That I’m a flawed man who listens to (The voices)
That I hear and believe are meant to be heard, because I convince myself they can foretell me things. Oh, except one voice, he can make (me do)
Things I do not know why I’ve done, and I cannot receive happy (From sky)
To earth, because everything in between is hell and suffering in different disguises. I don’t care what everyone believes in, I’ve seen the devil before (when I)
Kneel to ruinous power and not (Ask why),
Even though deep down I knew I should have questioned everything standing before me. But I hadn’t the answers. Do I look like I’m the one who has anything to tell you other than “why don’t you have a (Look at)
What becomes when we burn every (Town around)
The block and back to the place where it all started again,” because destruction always finds its way home in the end. There’s a saying about all this, oh yeah (it was)
Screaming not the singing that made the (Best sound),
And I don’t think that I’ll ever get to hear that sound again no matter how hard I search for it. I haven’t heard (it since)
Pain has become the only way we know of (To grow)
Into the person who I am meant to be. I know life’s not easy, but it shouldn’t have been this hard, and at times (I just)
Want to stop always destroying my home.

4058/7500

Ever stood in the darkest place you could imagine, what if I told you (that’s where) The biggest part of my (Soul died), and from that moment onward nothing inside me ever truly felt the same again. When this happens, the whole world you seen through your eyes changes forever, because (first you) Learn you didn’t die (You survived), but survival alone don’t heal the damage underneath your skin. But why do I feel like I have to sacrifice a lot? Well what feels like the lot is really just the price I pay (to be) The man I deserve to be (Requires more) Attention than I ever gave myself before, and a better process of my thoughts put into all of this before I could go and do this all over again. So I reread what she wrote, trying to understand every word, and (then I) Must walk before I learn how (To soar) And rise above everything that made me feel lower than anything that lays in the ground, forgotten and buried beneath the weight of my own mistakes. For once I’ll be like the early bird who (gets the) Love and hate ripped from (My mind), while it ticks and ticks like a time bomb and every thought takes (me to) Places where the rest of the world is hard (To find), especially anyone out there who thinks how I do, someone with understanding alike me, somebody who can look through the damage and still remain. (Do you) Like what you see inside (The mirror), Because it always shows me what others see, but it never shows me who I truly am beneath all the fear and anger. If it did it (would show) All my flaws a little (Bit clearer), but every time the reflection would show back the version of me that I liked the best, cause to not be able to see clearly is better than (to see) Everything that I’ve done with my (Wasted time), And every opportunity I destroyed with my own hands before I ever gave it the chance to live. If only I turned away and had left before she could scream out to me, because when (I said) I would build a better and a (Stronger mind), I truly believed I could become someone better than the man standing there before her. And to have a stronger mind means I’d have a better sense of making the right decision, and all that in which I feel (I needed) To know why I chose to do the things (I did), And why I could not take the chance which could have made the situation not turn out as such, cos (this was) The worst mistake I ever made, with it (I live) Every single day like a punishment I handed down to myself. Like this and so be it, who cares what they think? Who the fuck are they anyway? They ain’t better than anybody else, so (they can) Never truly forget the weight of (My choices), Because those choices are all mine to be made. Hell yeah I’ve made many that I wish I could turn back time and change, but we (all know) That I’m a flawed man who listens to (The voices) That I hear and believe are meant to be heard, because I convince myself they can foretell me things. Oh, except one voice, he can make (me do) Things I do not know why I’ve done, and I cannot receive happy (From sky) To earth, because everything in between is hell and suffering in different disguises. I don’t care what everyone believes in, I’ve seen the devil before (when I) Kneel to ruinous power and not (Ask why), Even though deep down I knew I should have questioned everything standing before me. But I hadn’t the answers. Do I look like I’m the one who has anything to tell you other than “why don’t you have a (Look at) What becomes when we burn every (Town around) The block and back to the place where it all started again,” because destruction always finds its way home in the end. There’s a saying about all this, oh yeah (it was) Screaming not the singing that made the (Best sound), And I don’t think that I’ll ever get to hear that sound again no matter how hard I search for it. I haven’t heard (it since) Pain has become the only way we know of (To grow) Into the person who I am meant to be. I know life’s not easy, but it shouldn’t have been this hard, and at times (I just) Want to stop always destroying my home.

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