THE EARTH CATALOG A Science Fiction Audio Drama EPISODE ONE — PART ONE: THE VACATION YOU CANNOT AFFORD [ATMOSPHERIC SCI-FI MUSIC — deep space ambience, pulsing synths, slow cinematic piano] NARRATOR — calm, mysterious female voice: In the year twenty-nine forty-seven, traveling to another planet was as ordinary as taking a flight to London had once been. Tomatoes grew on Mars. Luxury resorts were being built beneath Europa's frozen oceans. And property prices on the Moon had reached a point where even billionaires felt seriously ripped off. But that was nothing compared to the real breakthrough. Forty years earlier, scientists studying a gravitational singularity near a black hole had discovered that spacetime was not a single road. It was a gigantic network connecting countless worlds. [LOW COSMIC RUMBLE — shimmering spatial transition] NARRATOR: This was not time travel. That would have been far too simple. You could visit an Earth where dinosaurs had just become extinct. An Earth where Napoleon had won at Waterloo. An Earth where humanity had never invented the wheel. And millions of others where history had unfolded almost exactly as in our world, until one insignificant detail changed everything. On one Earth, America had been discovered by Christopher Columbus. On another, by Cristoforo Colombo. On a third, the expedition had failed, and Europeans had discovered the continent two hundred years later. On a fourth, the Chinese had discovered America. On a fifth, nobody had discovered anything because the ship had crashed before leaving the harbor. Every one of these Earths was real, filled with people who believed their world was the only one that existed. And every one could become a tourist destination. [SOFT PIANO — distant mechanical ambience] NARRATOR: Marta worked for a travel agency called Chronos and Sons. There were no sons. The founder was named Kowalski. In the early days, traveling between worlds had been reserved for governments and billionaires. Those days were long gone. Now, it was big business. [OFFICE AMBIENCE — keyboard typing, electronic hum] Marta sat at her desk, drinking her third coffee and examining a client's profile. ROBOT ASSISTANT — dry, slightly grumpy: Client: Tomasz Radecki. Age: sixty-eight. Destination: Europe, eighteen twelve. Interest: Napoleon Bonaparte. Budget: lifetime savings. MARTA — tired, sarcastic: Let me guess. Another Waterloo enthusiast. ROBOT ASSISTANT: The client does not wish to observe the Battle of Waterloo. He wishes to meet Napoleon personally. MARTA: Excuse me? ROBOT ASSISTANT: "I don't want to watch thousands of people die through a protective viewing screen. I want to talk to the man who changed Europe." MARTA — amused: Of course. And I want dinner with Socrates to ask why he never wrote a book. ROBOT ASSISTANT: Socrates did not write any books. MARTA: Exactly. That's why I want to ask him. [SOFT ELECTRONIC BEEP — catalog opens] NARRATOR: She opened the catalog. Earth number seven hundred forty-two thousand eight hundred nineteen. Napoleon was alive. France was an empire. Europe looked almost exactly as it did in Marta's history textbooks, except the emperor had never died in exile, and his descendants still occupied the throne. The world was stable, well documented, and relatively safe. Fourteen days cost one million eight hundred thousand credits. MARTA — under her breath: Forget it. He can't afford that. ROBOT ASSISTANT: He qualifies for the economy package. MARTA: Economy? He sleeps in a barn? ROBOT ASSISTANT: A windowless room twelve kilometers from the emperor's residence. A personal meeting is not guaranteed. MARTA: Wonderful. A million credits to stare at a wall and hope the emperor gets lost on his way to the bathroom. [BRIEF COMIC PAUSE] NARRATOR: She closed the offer. MARTA: Find something similar. Napoleon, eighteen twelve, but without the imperial court. A province will do. Just make sure the man actually exists. [COMPUTER PROCESSING — soft beeps, then silence] ROBOT ASSISTANT: I have found a world that meets every requirement. MARTA: Well? ROBOT ASSISTANT: There is one problem. MARTA: Of course there is. What is it? [LOW, SUBTLE SUSPENSE MUSIC BEGINS] NARRATOR — dark, mysterious: For the first time in three years, Marta's screen displayed a warning she had never seen before. SYSTEM VOICE — cold, artificial: Historical consistency error. [SHARP ELECTRONIC ALERT — MUSIC CUTS TO SILENCE]
