Sober

SOBER Verse 1 There’s a constant hammering in my head, A flickering absurdity, Moments I’d rather be dead. A twitch behind my eye, Like a wire stripped alive, And they keep driving nails through my skull Until I lose whole hours of my life. Floating in my bed While my brain fights a civil war, Two countries made of lightning Arguing what survival’s for. Tell me, God, What kind of curse is this? Because nobody should have to earn A life they already live. Pre-Chorus There must be a reason, There must be a crime— For torment every season, Every year, every night. Chorus Jackhammer, jackhammer, Through my skull again. Sober, sober, But the suffering stayed. Every prayer tastes like saltwater, Every sunrise feels the same. Jackhammer, jackhammer, Who do I sue for all this pain? Mercury lungs, Iron bones, Smile for the photograph. Everybody loves recovery Until they see the aftermath. Verse 2 And they point with fingers, Call me dramatic, Too quiet, Too broken, Too inconveniently tragic. They say I’m making pain up For attention or sympathy, As if agony has ever paid A single bill for me. Easy story to believe: No blood until there is. No scream until you’re heard. No wound until it rips. Meanwhile I’m counting ceiling cracks, Naming shadows after saints, Trying not to bite my tongue While lightning floods my veins. Pre-Chorus There must be a reason, There must be a crime. Nobody told me healing Could hurt this much alive. Chorus Jackhammer, jackhammer, Through my skull again. Sober, sober, But the suffering stayed. Every prayer tastes like saltwater, Every sunrise feels the same. Jackhammer, jackhammer, Who do I sue for all this pain? Mercury lungs, Iron bones, Smile for the photograph. Everybody loves recovery Until they see the aftermath. Bridge I quit the powder. I quit the poison. I buried versions of myself. I paid in blood. I paid in friendships. I paid with pieces of my health. So why’s my head still A burning building? Why’s my body still at war? If this is what surviving looks like, What was all that dying for? Final Chorus Jackhammer, jackhammer, Through my skull again. Sober, sober, But the suffering stayed. Every prayer tastes like saltwater, Every miracle comes late. Jackhammer, jackhammer, Tell me— Does anybody escape? Mercury lungs, Iron bones, Still dragging myself through. Everybody loves a comeback story— Nobody likes the truth. Jackhammer. Jackhammer. Sober. And it still hurts.