Border Gate Squeak by ojac

[Verse 2 – The Dane]
Hold da op, stiff neighbor, you're wound way too tight
Drinking your lager and scheduling night
I roll up with tubes of remoulade spread thick
A mouthful of red hotdogs and zero real trick
With potatoes stuck deep in a gargling head
Nobody knows what the hell you just said

[Chorus]
The border gate drops with a squeak and a groan
Two cultures colliding with brick and with bone
The German wants order, a schedule, a rule
The Dane just waves back: "Have a beer, you old fool!"
Who's winning this battle of coffee and slag?
Neither one knows how to handle a flag!

[Verse 3 – The Clash]
German: "Where is your passport?! Your environmental pass?!"
Dane: "Relax, man, what's wrong? Take the stick out your ass!
Grab a pilsner and chill for the love of the state
We're basically Vikings... just slightly off-rate!"
German: "Das ist kein Spaß! It is Paragraph Three!"
Dane: "Oh whatever — just eat a red hotdog with me!"

[Outro - The Real Roast]
German final form: flip-flops with socks in the sand,
towel war at sunrise, reserving Danish land,
on vacation still making a 40-point plan,
fun is scheduled: 14:00 to 15:00, man.

Dane final form: can't count past twenty, just mumbles and gargles,
"halvfems" - what the fuck, sounds like you choke on marbles,
five million people acting like you're a superpower,
still mad we took Skåne, that was your golden hour.

So cheers to the border, the Pølse vs Bratwurst fight,
one's too stiff to live, one's too drunk to be right.
Stay on your side, we love you, but please -
don't bring your rules, and don't bring your cheese.

2097/7500

[Verse 1 – The German] Here I stand at the border, my posture perfect and straight Measuring the lawn down to every last plate Ordnungsamt icon with dread of a stain My paperwork's driving the neighbors insane Six-lane Autobahn, no speed limit in sight Just Stau Germany's order — now that is true might [Verse 2 – The Dane] Hold da op, stiff neighbor, you're wound way too tight Drinking your lager and scheduling night I roll up with tubes of remoulade spread thick A mouthful of red hotdogs and zero real trick With potatoes stuck deep in a gargling head Nobody knows what the hell you just said [Chorus] The border gate drops with a squeak and a groan Two cultures colliding with brick and with bone The German wants order, a schedule, a rule The Dane just waves back: "Have a beer, you old fool!" Who's winning this battle of coffee and slag? Neither one knows how to handle a flag! [Verse 3 – The Clash] German: "Where is your passport?! Your environmental pass?!" Dane: "Relax, man, what's wrong? Take the stick out your ass! Grab a pilsner and chill for the love of the state We're basically Vikings... just slightly off-rate!" German: "Das ist kein Spaß! It is Paragraph Three!" Dane: "Oh whatever — just eat a red hotdog with me!" [Chorus] The border gate drops with a squeak and a groan Two cultures colliding with brick and with bone The German wants order, a schedule, a rule The Dane just waves back: "Have a beer, you old fool!" [Outro - The Real Roast] German final form: flip-flops with socks in the sand, towel war at sunrise, reserving Danish land, on vacation still making a 40-point plan, fun is scheduled: 14:00 to 15:00, man. Dane final form: can't count past twenty, just mumbles and gargles, "halvfems" - what the fuck, sounds like you choke on marbles, five million people acting like you're a superpower, still mad we took Skåne, that was your golden hour. So cheers to the border, the Pølse vs Bratwurst fight, one's too stiff to live, one's too drunk to be right. Stay on your side, we love you, but please - don't bring your rules, and don't bring your cheese.

0/500