[Verse 1] I been a loyal soldier on Dischord’s land, Chatting with my homies, got memes on demand. But one fine mornin’, what did I see? A message sayin’, “Hey, verify your ID!” [Verse 2] Now I don’t got a signal, not a single bar, No cell tower near me, not even in my car. I live with the redwoods, I talk with the crows, So textin’ ain't an option where the moss grows. [Chorus] Can’t text me now, can’t send no code, I’m off the grid, on a landline road. They said, “No phone, no entry, pal,” I said, “This proves nothin' but your data grab galore, ya digital gal!” [Verse 3] They claim it’s for “safety,” a noble disguise, But all they want’s my number to monetize. I said, “Your logic’s leakin’ like a cracked balloon,” Then we argued so hard, the bots left the chat room. [Bridge slower, dramatic] You never asked for a phone at the start, Now you want it just to tear me apart. And I said, “This ain’t security—it’s just a trap!” Then I dropped the mic and tripped on the welcome mat. [Chorus] Can’t text me now, I don’t play that game, My phone’s got a cord and it’s proud of its name. You want a cell so you can sell my soul, But I’m a mountain man, baby, and I still rock'n'roll! [Outro] So here I stand, no text, no ping, Just the wind and the trees and the birds that sing. You want my digits? Sorry, no can do— Try sendin’ a pigeon or a damn raccoon! Can’t text me now… can’t text me now… I’m off the grid, baby—so take a bow.
