[Intro] [Bright 12-string electric guitar riff with spring reverb] [Stacked baritone harmony] (Bah-bah-bah, bah-Uncanny!) (Bah-bah-bah, bah-Uncanny!) (Ooh-ahh, pack your bags now!) [Verse 1] Pack up the station wagon, bring the dog and kids! We’ve got the kind of neighborhood where nobody hides their grins! Every house a pastel dream, the lawns are cut just right, With white picket fences and stone gargoyles keeping watch all night! [Pre-Chorus] [Bouncing electric bass and tambourine build-up] [Dad vocals straining for higher notes] Oh, the HOA is smiling, and the streetlights never blink, It’s much more paradise than you could ever think! [Chorus] [Full 4-part close-harmony, upbeat surf-pop beat] (Uncanny Valley!) Come on and settle down! (Uncanny Valley!) The safest place in town! The air is fresh, the grass is clean, the weather's always fine, So bring your family over to the Valley line! (Bah-bah-bah, Uncanny Valley!) [Verse 2] [Surf guitar embellishments] Take a drive past the high school, see the varsity team, Every single student looks nineteen to twenty-three! Jawlines carved of granite, not a pimple on their face, They’re walking down the hallway at a TV-actor pace! [Chorus] [Full 4-part close-harmony, upbeat surf-pop beat] (Uncanny Valley!) Come on and settle down! (Uncanny Valley!) The safest place in town! The air is fresh, the grass is clean, the weather's always fine, So bring your family over to the Valley line! [Verse 3] [Driving snare-drum beat] Need some milk and dinner? Well, you never leave your seat, At the Save-Ur-Wallet supermarket right on Maple Street! Just roll right through the drive-thru lane, they’ll pack your trunk real neat, Then head out to the State Park where old Bigfoot likes to meet! (He waves hello! Ahh-ooh!) [Bridge] [Music drops to finger snaps, bassline, and lush barbershop harmonies] [Self-aware dad monologue / harmony] Now, people out in normal towns say we’re a little strange... They ask us why our shadows never move or ever change. But they’ve got messy lawns! And their roads have big potholes! And nobody paints their gargoyles to protect their mortal souls! (Those outside towns are crazy!) (Who’d want to live out there? Ahh-ahh!) [Guitar Solo] [Twangy 12-string surf guitar solo over fast snare rhythm] [Chorus] [Maximum energy, dense "ahh" vocal layers in background] (Uncanny Valley!) Come on and settle down! (Uncanny Valley!) The safest place in town! The air is fresh, the grass is clean, the weather's always fine, So bring your family over to the Valley line! [Outro] [Baritone voices straining high into classic Beach Boys fading harmonies] Pack your bags! (Uncanny Valley!) Move right in! (Uncanny Valley!) Gargoyles on the fence posts! (Uncanny Valley!) Say hi to Bigfoot on the trail! (Uncanny Valley!) (Bah-bah-bah, bah-Uncanny!) (Bah-bah-bah, welcome home!) [Fade out on bright guitar chord and spring reverb tail]
