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Please give me a minute I want you to see, what it’s become like to live inside me I need you to know, I want to explain, I have a healthy but miswired brain, Sights & sounds, they often collide. The simplest decisions are hard to decide. Please try to see I’m not fully to blame, I’ve seen a whole lotta shit, and it wasn’t a game, didn’t do it for clout or glory or fame, it was something I needed but fucking insane, Saw the evils of men, didn’t think I be scared, but when you see up close your so unprepared, and when a man shows you he gets you off guard, it tears at your mind, the reaction is hard, Theres no win or lose in that stinking pit, everything’s slimy and covered I. Shit, look how deep it cut me, where do I begin, Hip back and pelvis, shit look at my shins. I’ll move along, i can’t stall here, This story is like a slow moving fire I see it I know - you are starting to tire. Next chapter different, but still about me, this time about my dependency… I try to behave, I want to be good, But sometimes I fail tho I tried all I could So walk with me and wear my shoes, Learn how I am is not what I choose. Tryin to do as im expected to, but the message is blurry, it’s not getting through, Little by little I’m getting the jist, i cannot heal til I see thru the mist, I’ll never move past if I live by the fist, I’ve got to avoid what gets me so pissed. But emotions so often are simply dismissed. I’m almost done, don’t shift in your chair, I’m fully aware of your 3 mile stare, Nobody wants to hear bitch and moan, i slowed the emotion avoiding your groan, But sometimes we all need a little support, so one last small detail before we abort, Please stay patient and continue to be The person who’s willing to understand me. It’s clear to me you are starting to see, as weak as I be, I’m not what you see, this is not me. I overthink and I overtalk, I usually run when I really should walk. It's seems that my work is never done, And I can’t remember the last time I had fun. Mental or physical, I always have pain, Doctors and pills don’t work on my brain. I write too long texts and talk quite a lot, Even though I rarely know where to start, I think with my feelings and see with my heart. Hear my words and believe, how hard it can be. too hard to explain but I want you to see, I can't help letting my feelings show. Sometimes I am angry, jealous, morose, I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad. always apologizing, always look bad, I assume all the worst and then I get mad. Even when I’m not wrong, I apologize, if you knew me you’d make all that shit is lies. I try to be flawless as far as you know, I don’t talk about war, my family or dough. But the cats split the bag and it’s all on the table, your friends’ in denial and kind of unstable. I'm misunderstood, I’d change if I could. But I want you to know there is less bad than good. not defined by my uni, my knife or my gun. I'm actually kind and can be lots of fun. I get blamed for things that I ain’t even done. I am not that guy, just circumstance, I know I can do it, I just need a chance, If you take a good look I’m promise you’ll see, I am starting to learn how to live inside me. Just want to be seen as I see as I feel I wont give in, that isnt the deal, Im bigger and better and on even keel. So get out of my house my rants come to an end, and Im happier now cuz I have a real friend