[Intro: boot stomps, concertina, tired male voices] [“Baritone Singer”] KITE IS DOWN! [“Tenor Singer”] RACE AIN’T DONE! [“Bass Singer”] OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT THE DECK! ... [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] .... WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE BECOME? [Verse 1: gritty baritone] [“Baritone Singer”] The kite is safely down below, we’re hard upon the breeze, The cockpit looks like Neptune threw up ninety yards of sheets. There’s halyard underneath the guy, the downhaul’s round a shoe, The sheets have formed a marriage that no sailor can undo. The pole comes down and gets secured, its lines are cleared away, Then every rope must run back clean… [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] OR WE’LL REGRET THE DAY! [“Baritone Singer”] …Someone forgot the topping lift. [“Bass Singer”] WHO DID THAT? [“Tenor Singer”] WAS IT YOU!?! [“Bass Singer”] (NO WAY!) [Pre-Chorus: call and response] [“Baritone Singer”] Sheet? [“Tenor Singer”] RUN IT CLEAN! [“Baritone Singer”] Guy? [“Bass Singer”] CLEAR THE WINCH! [“Baritone Singer”] Halyard? [“Tenor Singer”] DOWN AND FREE! [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] NOTHING CROSSED FROM AFT TO LEE! [Chorus: three-part hauling harmony] [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] RUN! FLAKE! PACK IT RIGHT! CLEAR THE LINES AND CHECK THE KITE! HEAD AND CLEWS, KNOW WHERE THEY’RE AT, FOLLOW THE TAPES AND PACK HER FLAT! RUN! FLAKE! PACK! HO! MAKE HER READY DOWN BELOW! NO TWIST, NO KNOT, NO MYSTERY, THE NEXT DAMN HOIST DEPENDS ON ME! [Verse 2: work-song rhythm] [“Baritone Singer”] Down below they find the head and separate both clews, They run the tapes along the sail… [“Tenor Singer”] AND FIND WHAT WE ABUSED! [“Baritone Singer”] Check for rips and twisted cloth, then flake her clean and tight, Get every corner where it belongs… [“Bass Singer”] OR NEXT SET’S FUCKED ON SIGHT! [“Baritone Singer”] The halyard runs back clean and high, the sheets and guys reset, The bag gets clipped and staged to go… [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] WE AIN’T FINISHED YET! [Bridge: a cappella call-and-response] [“Baritone Singer”] Head? [“Tenor Singer”] FOUND! [“Baritone Singer”] Clews? [“Bass Singer”] TWO! [“Baritone Singer”] Tapes? [“Tenor Singer”] RUNNING TRUE! [“Baritone Singer”] Twists? [“Bass Singer”] NONE! [“Baritone Singer”] Bag? [“Tenor Singer”] PACKED! [“Baritone Singer”] Lines? [“Bass Singer”] RUN CLEAN AFT! [“Baritone Singer”] Ready for another set? [Beat] [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] NOW YOU CAN BLOODY ASK! [Final Chorus: maximum three-part harmony] [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] RUN! FLAKE! PACK IT RIGHT! CLEAR THE LINES AND CHECK THE KITE! HEAD AND CLEWS, KNOW WHERE THEY’RE AT, FOLLOW THE TAPES AND PACK HER FLAT! RUN! FLAKE! PACK! HO! EVERY LINE KNOWS WHERE TO GO! NO TWIST, NO KNOT, NO MYSTERY, THE NEXT DAMN HOIST DEPENDS ON ME! [Outro: stomps, tired voices] [“Baritone Singer”] Kite? [“Tenor Singer”] PACKED! [“Baritone Singer”] Halyard? [“Bass Singer”] RUN! [“Baritone Singer”] Sheets? [“Tenor Singer”] CLEAR! [“Baritone Singer”] Guys? [“Bass Singer”] CLEAR! [“Baritone Singer”] Pole? [“Tenor Singer”] SECURE! [“Baritone Singer”] Bag? [“Bass Singer”] STAGED! [“Baritone Singer”] Crew? [“Three-Part Harmony Singers”] ON THE RAIL! [Beat] [“Skipper Singer: dry”] Good. [Beat] [“Skipper Singer”] We’re changing kites. [Silence] [“Bass Singer: distant”] …Awwwww....fuck!! [Concertina stab] [End]
