For @pharoaanubis Suno & Dragons event. ๐ The Tale of Kannyay West-Burrow Nobody in Tumbleton knew where the infant had come from. He arrived on the inn doorstep in a wicker basket, a note tucked inside reading "His name is" before the rain had claimed the rest. The innkeeper took him in with all the enthusiasm of someone discovering a slow leak, and the boy grew up learning one essential truth: charm and a convincing story would always get you further than honest work. He filed this away carefully. It would prove useful. The concert idea was born almost entirely by accident. Having drunkenly announced to a tavern that he was personal manager to the world-famous Justin Beerberton, Kannyay had expected a few free drinks before slipping away quietly. He had not expected three hundred and forty two people to purchase tickets. Faced with a stage and no Beerberton, he found a little-known Human artist named Ricardo Asterley, paid him twelve coppers to perform Never Gunna Give Thou Up, and was three miles down the road before the first tomato was thrown. He felt it had gone rather well. It was during his fifteenth Ricardo Asterley production that Al-Grim Caponegranite found him - a broad, humourless Dwarf who presented himself as an investor. He'd handle the money and logistics, Kannyay just had to keep performing. For the first time in his life Kannyay felt something close to belonging. It did not occur to him to wonder why Al-Grim always had considerably more gold than the ticket receipts should have allowed. Not until he found the second set of books. The ledger told a clear story - his cut had been quietly quartered while Al-Grim ran a sprawling criminal empire behind the curtain, with Kannyay as its unwitting smiling face. The wounded pride stung harder than the stolen gold. He sat with it for exactly one hour, then walked directly to the nearest magistrate. Al-Grim was arrested before dawn. The thieves guild contract on Kannyay's head arrived shortly after breakfast. And so Kannyay West-Burrow, a name he hadn't quite gotten used to, arrived in Maplehurst with empty pockets, Ricardo Asterley asleep in the cart outside, and tickets already sold. The barmaid had smiled at him, and he'd spent his last three silvers on flowers for her. He sat now nursing his ale, one eye on the door for guild spies, one eye on the barmaid, and a plan forming that was absolutely going to work this time. Outside, someone was shouting something about a dragon and a prophecy. Kannyay straightened his moustache and took a long slow sip. This evening was about to get considerably more complicated. --------------------------------------------- I am Ricardo Asterley, a humble singing man, Dragged across the countryside by a halfling with a plan, He said "They'll love thee Ricardo, thou shalt be a star!" But fifteen towns of angry mobs say I won't go far! He sells 'em tickets, promises a superstar's delight, Then realise it's just Ricardo on a cold and lonely night! The curtain parts, the spotlight falls, and there stands only me, Singing Never Gunna Give Thou Up for twelve coppers as I flee! Never gunna give thou up, Never gunna let thee down, Never gunna turn around and flee thee, Never gunna make thee unwell, Never gunna say farewell, Never gunna tell a lie and cheat thee! Al-Grim Caponegranite was a Dwarf of wicked fame, Who saw in little Kannyay's cons a most profitable game, He'd count the tickets, hold the gold, and skim it from the top, While Kannyay smiled and took his cut and never thought to stop! But Kannyay found the second books and straight to law he ran, He grassed the crooked Dwarf up and dismantled all his plan, The guild put out a contract and the heat came down on me, So now Ricardo Asterley must also bloody flee! Never gunna give thou up, Never gunna let thee down, Never gunna turn around and flee thee, Never gunna make thee unwell, Never gunna say farewell, Never gunna tell a lie and cheat thee! So heed my sorry tale good friends, And learn from my mistakes, For every shining promise made, Is more than what it takes! He'll charm thee with a smile so wide, And steal thee blind by night, He'll sell thee on a dream so sweet, Then vanish from thy sight! So raise thy cups and hear me well, Thou merry drinking clan, Trust not the smooth and suave of tongue, Trust not a charlatan! Never gunna give thou up, Never gunna let thee down, Never gunna turn around and flee thee, Never gunna make thee unwell, Never gunna say farewell, Never gunna tell a lie and cheat thee!
