No, It’s Not a 'Distraction' (no means no edit)

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[Verse 1: The Warrior] (Strong, punchy alto voice) I cleared the dungeon, I took the dragon’s head But did they talk about the beast? No, they talked about me instead! The Paladin was 'preaching' while his eyes were on a quest To see if there was 'magic' held beneath my iron chest! I told him, "Eyes up, bucket-head, my steel is for the fight!" But he just stammered 'bout the 'glare' and how it blurred his sight! Yeah, it’s a "breastplate," pal, it’s literally the name! Stop acting like my anatomy is part of the damn game!

[Chorus: All Three - Harmonies] (Fast, anthemic, and very catchy) Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen! 🍻

[Verse 2: The Ranger] (Sweet but sharp soprano voice) The Bard was in the corner, with his 'poetry' and pride Talking 'bout my 'slender frame' and how he’d like a ride! He liked the "lace and leather," thought he’d give my cheek a pat I put an arrow through his lute—how do you like that? "It’s aerodynamic!" I told him with a grin, While he was busy wondering where his dignity had been. Just because I’m Elven doesn't mean I’m here for show, I can track a ghost through starlight—and I’m deadly with a bow!

[Chorus: All Three] Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen!

[Bridge: The Priest] (Gravelly, soulful mezzo voice - The music slows to a heavy stomp) Now, I’m a woman of the cloth, and a daughter of the stone, And I’ve got a silky beard that is strictly my own! Some local "hero" thought he’d give it a little twirl, He said, "I’ve never seen a chin-strap on such a pretty girl!" (Music stops for a half-second) Well... 'No' means 'No,' even in the Dwarven tongue. He’s turned to solid granite 'til the final bell is rung! Three full moons of thinking 'bout his manners and his sins... That’s the price you pay when the "healing" work begins! 🗿

[Verse 3: All Three - Trading lines] [Warrior]: We’ve downed more spirits than the Necromancer’s crew! [Ranger]: We’ve got more gold than the Mayor and his nephew! [Priest]: And we still get asked if we’re the 'assistants' or the 'cooks'! [All]: Maybe take a second and actually look!

[Final Chorus: All Three - Maximum Volume] Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen!

[Outro] (The music keeps the high-energy beat) [Warrior]: "Another round, barkeep! And keep the foam off my beard-oil!" [Priest]: "That’s my line, honey." [Ranger]: "To the ladies!" (Sound of three mugs clinking and a loud, triumphant laugh) (Final power chord on the lute) [End]

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Title: No, It’s Not a 'Distraction' [Intro] (Sound of three heavy mugs slamming onto a wooden table) [Warrior]: "If one more guard tells me my armor is 'revealing'..." [Ranger]: "I’ll help you aim the crossbow, sis." (A fast, rebellious lute riff kicks in with a heavy drum beat) [Verse 1: The Warrior] (Strong, punchy alto voice) I cleared the dungeon, I took the dragon’s head But did they talk about the beast? No, they talked about me instead! The Paladin was 'preaching' while his eyes were on a quest To see if there was 'magic' held beneath my iron chest! I told him, "Eyes up, bucket-head, my steel is for the fight!" But he just stammered 'bout the 'glare' and how it blurred his sight! Yeah, it’s a "breastplate," pal, it’s literally the name! Stop acting like my anatomy is part of the damn game! [Chorus: All Three - Harmonies] (Fast, anthemic, and very catchy) Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen! 🍻 [Verse 2: The Ranger] (Sweet but sharp soprano voice) The Bard was in the corner, with his 'poetry' and pride Talking 'bout my 'slender frame' and how he’d like a ride! He liked the "lace and leather," thought he’d give my cheek a pat I put an arrow through his lute—how do you like that? "It’s aerodynamic!" I told him with a grin, While he was busy wondering where his dignity had been. Just because I’m Elven doesn't mean I’m here for show, I can track a ghost through starlight—and I’m deadly with a bow! [Chorus: All Three] Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen! [Bridge: The Priest] (Gravelly, soulful mezzo voice - The music slows to a heavy stomp) Now, I’m a woman of the cloth, and a daughter of the stone, And I’ve got a silky beard that is strictly my own! Some local "hero" thought he’d give it a little twirl, He said, "I’ve never seen a chin-strap on such a pretty girl!" (Music stops for a half-second) Well... 'No' means 'No,' even in the Dwarven tongue. He’s turned to solid granite 'til the final bell is rung! Three full moons of thinking 'bout his manners and his sins... That’s the price you pay when the "healing" work begins! 🗿 [Verse 3: All Three - Trading lines] [Warrior]: We’ve downed more spirits than the Necromancer’s crew! [Ranger]: We’ve got more gold than the Mayor and his nephew! [Priest]: And we still get asked if we’re the 'assistants' or the 'cooks'! [All]: Maybe take a second and actually look! [Final Chorus: All Three - Maximum Volume] Oh! We’re drinking 'til the barrels run dry tonight! We’ve got the scars and we’ve got the right! Stop the 'splaining, stop the leers, We’ve been slaying monsters for a dozen years! It’s not a 'distraction,' it’s a killing machine, The baddest adventuresses that you’ve ever seen! [Outro] (The music keeps the high-energy beat) [Warrior]: "Another round, barkeep! And keep the foam off my beard-oil!" [Priest]: "That’s my line, honey." [Ranger]: "To the ladies!" (Sound of three mugs clinking and a loud, triumphant laugh) (Final power chord on the lute) [End]

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