Got a PhD in screwin' up, My resume, how I’m not good enough, Stained with tears and bad luck, yeah. (I’m a dumpster fire with legs!) I suck! I suck! I suck! Yeah, clap if I ruined your day! I’m a trophy case of shame, A one-man nuclear hate parade! I suck! I suck! I suck! [Band shouts: “Suuuuuck!”] So gather ‘round, point and laugh! “Well, he tried” will be my epitaph. Got a Valentine’s card from Satan: “Wish you weren’t here, please keep breathing.” I suck! I suck! I suck! Yeah, clap if I ruined your day! I’m a trophy case of shame, A one-man nuclear hate parade! I suck! I suck! I suck! My charm’s a dial tone, my talent? (Nada) Well I guess I gotta … Goooooo fuck myself. (haha!) (Send hate mail!) I suck! I suck! I suck! Yeah, clap if I ruined your day! I’m a trophy case of shame, A one-man nuclear hate parade! I suck! I suck! I suck! [End]