[Verse 1] I’m young right now, I’m feeling fine, I’ve got two legs and plenty of time, But sometimes I sit and wonder instead, “What’s this strange creaking inside my head?” I picture myself at eighty-three, Walking around like a rusty machine, With a little black cane and a fancy hat, Yelling at squirrels, “Get off of my mat!” [Pre-Chorus] Oh, the future’s coming, I can see, And apparently it’s got jokes for me... [Chorus] First comes the cane, tap-tap-tap, Then comes the walker—watch me go clap-clap-clap! Then comes the chair with electric speed, I’ll be drifting through Walmart like a NASCAR machine! I’ll race my grandkids down the hall, Do wheelies by the bathroom wall, If getting old means slowing down, I’ll put a turbocharger under my night gown! [Verse 2] Then one fine morning, I’ll wake up late, My knees will announce every little body ache, I’ll reach for my walker beside the bed, It’ll somehow have more gadgets than my phone instead. Cup holder, basket, horn and lights, Bluetooth speakers for Friday nights, I’ll pull up to bingo, everybody stare, “Move aside, youngsters—Grey man parking there!” [Pre-Chorus] Oh, the future’s coming, I can see, And apparently it’s got jokes for me... [Bridge] And when I finally get that chair, I’ll customize it beyond compare, Flashing lights and a stereo, A cup of cocoa wherever I go! License plate says “OLD BUT FAST,” I’ll leave every mobility scooter in the past! If somebody says, “Sir, please slow down...” I’ll yell, “TOO LATE!” and spin around! [Final Chorus] First comes the cane, tap-tap-tap, Then comes the walker with the built-in map, Then comes the chair and I’m ready to fly, With a rocket-powered seat and a helmet nearby! I may get older, but here’s the deal: Getting old doesn’t mean losing the wheel! So bring on the wrinkles, bring on the gray, I’ll be causing ridiculous trouble either way!
