FOXY RATIONALIZER [Intro] [Fox, spoken] I could have those grapes if I wanted them. [Backing Voices] Then get 'em. [Fox] I don't want them. [Backing Voices] Uh-huh. [Verse 1] Saw those grapes hanging high on the vine Purple and plump and looking mighty fine Took one jump, then I took one more Missed 'em both by a foot or four I wasn't beaten, I wasn't denied I simply reconsidered and stepped aside Too much sugar, too many carbs I'm caveman keto — regards! [Backing Voices] He can't reach the grapes. [Fox] That is a gross oversimplification. [Chorus] There's a rational explanation For each and every situation If I can't have what I desire I simply change my aspiration No frustration, no desperation Just strategic reorientation Call it sour grapes if you choose I call it choosing what I choose [Verse 2] Someone said, "Fox, I'll lower the vine" I said, "No thanks, I'm doing just fine Today's my day for intermittent fasting Health comes first and health is lasting" "You said your eating window starts at three." "I've reconsidered nutritionally." They picked one grape and handed it to me [Fox, spoken] Is it organic? [Voice] Yes. [Fox] Seedless? [Voice] Yes. [Fox] Locally sourced? [Voice] IT'S GROWING ON THE TREE! [Fox] Technically, it's a vine. [Backing Voices] HE STILL WON'T EAT THE GRAPES! [Chorus] There's a rational explanation For each and every situation If I can't have what I desire I simply change my aspiration Reevaluation, recalibration Dietary optimization You call it disappointment I call it expectation moderation [Verse 3] Couldn't catch a chicken running through the yard Not that I was trying particularly hard Chicken's overrated, haven't you heard? I'm cutting way back on poultry and bird Didn't get invited to the woodland ball Didn't really want to go at all Crowded rooms drain my social battery Staying home was always my strategy Didn't get the job at the henhouse gate Management stress would've sealed my fate Work-life balance matters to me— [Backing Voices] They wouldn't hire you. [Fox] That's one interpretation. [Backing Voices] That's what happened. [Fox] I reject your characterization. [Break] [Backing Voices] FOXY! [Fox] Rationalizer. [Backing Voices] FOXY! [Fox] I'm an analyzer. [Backing Voices] FOXY! [Fox] Recalibrator. [Backing Voices] You couldn't reach the grapes! [Fox] Your fixation on that incident is becoming unhealthy. [Bridge] It's not denial, it's adaptation A thoughtful mental renovation Why suffer needless aggravation When you can alter expectation? If opportunity won't come to me I question its desirability That's not defeat, that's sophistication— [Backing Voices] That's rationalization! [Fox] Precisely. [Final Chorus] There's a rational explanation For each and every situation If I can't have what I desire I simply change my aspiration No humiliation, no degradation Just a minor course recalibration Nothing lost and nothing missed If I decide it don't exist [Music drops] [Voice] Fox. [Fox] Yes? [Voice] Are the grapes just too high? [Long pause] [Fox] No. [Voice] Then get one. [Longer pause] [Fox] Today's my intermittent-fasting day. [Voice] You already used that one. [Fox] Extended fast. [Backing Voices] HE CAN'T REACH THE GRAPES! [Fox] I reject your characterization! [Outro] [Backing Voices] Sour grapes! [Fox] Dietary optimization! [Backing Voices] Sour grapes! [Fox] Strategic reorientation! [Backing Voices] SOUR GRAPES! [Fox] They probably weren't ripe anyway. [THUMP] [Voice] Did you just try again? [Fox] I slipped. [End]
