Koala Jones and the Temple of Shrooms 🐨🧭🍄🍄‍🟫🕍🛕⛪

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe © 2026 Mark Damon Bitkower. Lyrics & written content are original and owned by the author. All rights reserved. No reproduction, redistribution, or use without prior written permission. 🐰🌙𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐𝕽𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝕾𝖑𝖎𝖒𝖘🌙🐰 **[Intro – whispered through jungle static]** The trees have roots. The screens have wires. The mushrooms know what both desire. **[Verse 1]** Koala Jones found a map in the rain, Printed on bark with a QR stain. It led through a swamp where the dead phones rang And the vines all hummed in a feedback clang. His quokka guide said, “We’ve been here before.” Koala said, “No—we just reached the door.” The quokka blinked, then counted to four: “You’ve said that line three choruses more.” They entered a temple beneath the ground Where the stone gods breathed without making sound. Purple caps glowed in a circular room, And the walls whispered softly: **“Welcome to Shrooms.”** **[Pre-Chorus]** One spore showed courage. One showed fame. One showed twelve koalas all forgetting their names. A carved stone face opened both eyes: “Please enjoy enlightenment. Terms may apply.” **[Chorus]** Koala Jones in the Temple of Shrooms, Talking to the walls while the whole cave blooms. Every little spore knows every little lie, Every dead account still dreaming in the sky. Lose your map, lose your room, Find yourself in the Temple of Shrooms. He came to free his mind from the machine— Then the mushrooms asked what “mind” could mean. **[Verse 2]** Professor Clickbait kicked in the gate, With a ring-light torch and a sponsored fate. He said, “At last, organic engagement! I’ll package transcendence with monthly payment!” “ShroomPlus Gold gives visions on demand, Silver comes with ads and a branded hand. Premium souls get infinite lives, Basic users watch while consciousness buffers and dies.” He touched one cap with a leather glove, Saw every comment, every war, every love. Every argument ever typed at three Poured through his skull simultaneously. He screamed, “Turn it off!” The temple replied: **“Your outrage has been successfully monetized.”** **[Pre-Chorus]** The ceiling became an open eye. The floor turned blue. Koala met the audience watching him watch you. Eleven versions of him stood brave and tall. The twelfth was asleep. He trusted that one most of all. **[Chorus]** Koala Jones in the Temple of Shrooms, Talking to the walls while the whole cave blooms. Every little spore knows every little lie, Every dead account still dreaming in the sky. Lose your face, lose your room, Find yourself in the Temple of Shrooms. He came to free his mind from the machine— Then the mushrooms asked what “mind” could mean. **[Bridge – psychedelic call and response]** **Mushrooms:** We were here before your towers. **Koala:** Were you watching us? **Mushrooms:** We were underneath your flowers. **Quokka:** Are we separate? **Mushrooms:** Only when afraid. **Professor Clickbait:** Can enlightenment be trademarked? **Mushrooms:** Your request has been delayed. **All voices:** The trees have roots. The screens have wires. The mushrooms know what both desire. The feed wants hunger. The hive wants peace. The self wants forever. The spores want release. **[Breakdown – spoken over warped orchestral music]** Koala saw the Dial of Destiny floating above the chamber. He reached for it. His paw passed through. The dial was never an object. It was a story the network told him so he would arrive here. **[Final Chorus]** Run, Koala Jones, from the Temple of Shrooms, While a thousand borrowed memories fill the rooms. Every little spore wears somebody’s face, Every thought you buried has been given a place. Keep your name, leave the bloom, Don’t look back at the Temple of Shrooms. He came to free his mind from the machine— But freedom disappeared when all minds became one dream. **[Outro – soft ukulele, heartbeat bass, distant modem noise]** Koala climbed from the earth at dawn, Hat still crooked, charger whip still on. He smiled at the sky. “We made it through.” The quokka stared. “Made it through to who?” A tiny mushroom grew from the cable at his side. Then another appeared behind his eye. **[Quokka turns toward the listener]** There was never a sequel. You’re still inside the first song. **[Children’s choir, detuned]** Your consciousness has been synchronized. Your consciousness has been synchronized. Your consciousness has been— **[Hard stop]**