[Verse 1 – Monday] It’s Monday mornin’ — son of a biscuit! Alarm went off and I straight-up missed it My coffee spilled, my pants don’t fit This week already smells like... quit Emails screamin’, “Get on that Zoom!” But I’m hidin’ out in my laundry room Tried to log in, then said, “You know what?” Nope, not today, I ain’t got the guts! [Chorus] Nope, not this week, don’t even try I’d rather fake a cold or bake a pie From the bullsh—bananas to the passive-aggressives I need naps, snacks, and zero objectives So nope, nuh-uh, not this week! My motivation's sprung a leak! [Verse 2 – Tuesday] Tuesday's here with her to-do list grinnin’ But I’m still in bed, and I ain’t winnin’ She said “Be productive!” I said, “You wish.” I’m busy watchin’ my goldfish! Thought about work, then I thought, “Nah” This day’s already a blah-blah-blah If Tuesday wants me, it’s outta its mind I’m booked up cuddling my behind! [Chorus] Nope, not this week, I’m mentally done My brain went walkin’ and took the fun With the freakin’—frappuccino stress parade I'm ghostin’ this job like a bad first date So nope, not now, not this week! I'm on a strike that's kinda sleek [Verse 3 – Wednesday] Wednesday's humpin’, but not in a cute way Midweek madness? More like “Nope Day.” Got three missed calls and a spreadsheet crash And a boss who says “urgent” — with panicked flash I almost said sh—shivers down my spine These emails are borderline workplace crime So I grabbed my blanket, said “Bless your soul,” And climbed back in my Snuggie hole [Bridge] Thursday knocked with a PowerPoint deck I replied with, “Nope,” and a crick in my neck She said “Just one meeting?” and I said, “You bet— Wait, you almost got me there, not yet!” [Verse 4 – Thursday] I swear I tried — I gave it a look Then got distracted by TikTok and a book My brain said “Work?” but my soul said “Nope” Now I’m deep in a rabbit hole, can't cope Tried to respond, but I choked on my snack Almost typed “Help” but took it all back Thursday can wait — maybe next year I’m busy drinkin’ soda and wrestlin’ fear [Final Verse – Friday] Then Friday shows up wearin’ jeans and smiles Says, “Just survive for a few more miles!” I said “Fuh—fudge that!” with sass in my tone You think I’m workin’? Take that thought and postpone! The week’s been chaos, a straight-up joke I’m tired, I’m twitchin’, I might be broke So I’ll raise my mug and I’ll toast the sky— To a week I dodged, and I don’t know why! [Final Chorus] Nope, not this week, I’ve checked all out Gave it a try, but I’m filled with doubt From Monday’s mess to Friday’s fake cheer, I’ve earned this nap and I’m stayin’ here! So nope, sorry, not this week! Call me next... well, maybe next week. [Outro Spoken Bit] Unless it’s a holiday next week too. Then, like… catch me in July.
