[Intro] [honky-tonk piano, banjo strumming, tuba on beats 1 and 3] [Chorus] [male lead vocals] How 'you gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree? How 'you gonna keep 'em from Piccadilly Jazzin' around and paintin' the town? How 'you gonna keep 'em away from harm? That's the mystery They'll never want to see a rake or plow And who the deuce can parley-voo a cow? How 'you gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree? [Verse 1] [piano and banjo continue, woodblock accent] Reuben, Reuben, you're mistaken Said his wifey dear [muted trumpet fills] Once a farmer, always a jay And farmers always stick to the hay Mother Reuben, I'm not fakin' So you may think it strange But wine and women play the mischief With a boy who's loose with change [Chorus] [vocal harmonies enter] How 'you gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree? How 'you gonna keep 'em from Piccadilly Jazzin' around and paintin' the town? How 'you gonna keep 'em away from harm? That's the mystery They'll never want to see a rake or plow And who the deuce can parley-voo a cow? How 'you gonna keep 'em down on the farm After they've seen Paree? [slide whistle, final piano chord]
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