[Verse 1] Have you tried going outside? Getting sunlight, taking walks? Have you tried a gratitude journal? Have you tried positive thoughts? Have you tried getting some exercise? Endorphins help, you know Have you tried appreciating How much worse your life could go? Goddamn, no, I hadn't What an unbelievable break Thirty years of major depression And all I needed was a lake I'll go stare at some fucking trees Until my serotonin climbs Thank Christ you got here when you did I've been wasting so much time [Pre-Chorus] I know you're only trying to help That's what everybody says Right before they cure a diagnosis With some shit they saw on Threads [Chorus] Have you tried- Yes. Have you tried- Yes. Have you tried just making lists And getting eight hours of rest? Have you tried- Jesus Christ. I promise I've considered it If common sense could fix my brain I'd be the healthiest bitch alive So thank you for your input I'll be sure to write it down Right beside “drink more water” And “have you tried just calming down?” [Verse 2] “Everyone's a little ADHD” Sure, and everybody pees That doesn't mean we're all incontinent But thanks for weighing in on me “It's actually a superpower!” Mine must be incredibly discreet It mostly helps me lose my phone While I am holding it, apparently And please don't call me “neurospicy” With that little fucking face My frontal lobe is not a hot sauce And this isn't quirky brain You can keep the cutesy graphics And the dancing dopamine I would settle for remembering Why the hell I entered this room [Pre-Chorus] Use a planner, make a schedule Set alarms and make a list What a fascinating assumption That I haven't thought of shit [Chorus] Have you tried- Yes. Have you tried- Yes. Have you tried just going to bed At the same time every night? Have you tried- Oh my God. You've cracked the case, you clever shit If common sense could fix my brain I'd be the healthiest bitch alive So thank you for your input I'll be sure to write it down If I can find the fucking planner That was meant to fix me now [Verse 3] Then I mention hypersomnia And somebody always grins: “Oh, I've got insomnia! I'd LOVE to sleep like that!” How nice. I'd love to choose when I'm unconscious Since we're trading things today You can have the microsleeps at work I'll take lying there awake No, it isn't being sleepy No, a coffee doesn't cure it No, I don't need better habits And I'm pretty goddamn sure of it There are doctors, there were sleep tests There are numbers, there's a chart But your cousin tried magnesium So I guess we'll fucking start [Bridge] Maybe I should eat more protein Maybe I should meditate Maybe screens are why I'm tired Maybe gluten made me late Maybe yoga cures depression Maybe magnesium repairs Whatever moral fucking failure Makes me fall asleep in chairs Maybe I should try hypnosis Have my chakras realigned Get possessed by something useful Let a demon run my mind Have a priest perform an exorcism Have a witch remove the curse Replace my blood with cold brew coffee See if that makes things worse Trepanation's got a history Maybe leeches deserve a shot Have we tried a small lobotomy? At this point, why the fuck not? Launch my frontal lobe to orbit Put my circadian rhythms in rice If we're just making shit up now, I've got plenty of advice [Breakdown] “Have you tried-” Yes. “But what about-” Yes. “My friend has ADHD and she-” Good for her. “I just think medication-” Don't. “I'd love to be able to sleep that much." And I'd love to stay conscious behind the goddamn wheel, Susan. I guess we're both dreamers. [Final Chorus] Have you tried- Yes. Have you tried- YES. Have you tried accepting maybe I know more about my life than you? Have you tried- There we go. Now that's something you could do You don't have to fix my brain You don't have to understand it all You could trust me when I tell you That I've heard this shit before And if you find yourself beginning With “Have you tried-” Don't.
