Not Okay

[Intro – spoken] Truck’s still running. I’m still awake. Haven’t slept worth a shit. ⸻ [Verse 1] My head won’t slow down again Been driving back roads for over an hour Radio off Phone facedown Just trying to make it through the damn night (Ad-lib: “fuck…”) I keep everything to myself That’s how I learned to deal with it Smile when people look my way Say I’m good Change the subject like nothing’s wrong (BV: “every damn time…”) But I’m getting tired of lying Some days I don’t feel much at all Other days every little thing pisses me off And saying any of this out loud feels damn near impossible I ain’t okay Haven’t been for a while And I don’t know how to admit that without feeling weak as hell ⸻ [Chorus] I’m not okay and I need you to see it (BV: “see it…”) Been carrying too much shit by myself I stay quiet ‘cause I don’t wanna drag anybody down with me So I keep it in Keep acting normal Keep saying “I’m fine” when I know damn well I’m not (BV: “you’re not…”) I’m not okay. ⸻ [Verse 2] Wish people could see this the same way they see a broken arm Maybe then I wouldn’t have to explain myself all the damn time (Ad-lib: “maybe…”) Most people get uncomfortable when things get real So I learned to laugh shit off before anybody asks questions There were mornings I didn’t wanna get out of bed Not because I wanted to die I just couldn’t handle another damn day feeling like this (BV: “real shit…”) I’ve had panic attacks in crowded rooms and still smiled through it Answered “I’m good” automatically Even while I was falling apart inside And honestly What scares me most Is how easy it’s gotten to fake being alright (Ad-lib: “too damn easy…”) ⸻ [Chorus] I’m not okay and I need you to hear it (BV: “hear it now…”) There’s too much built up inside me And I can feel this shit getting worse I stay quiet because I don’t wanna become somebody else’s problem But staying quiet ain’t fixing a damn thing either (BV: “it ain’t helping…”) I’m not okay. ⸻ [Bridge – spoken low] I keep telling myself Suck it up. Get over it. Keep moving. But that shit only works for so long. At some point You either talk about it Or it tears you apart from the inside out. ⸻ [Final Chorus] I’m not okay and I need somebody to know that (BV: “don’t walk away…”) My head gets bad when I’m alone too long And I’m tired of pretending I’ve got my shit together If I finally break down one day Don’t look at me different Don’t fucking leave I’m still trying. Still breathing. Still here. I’m not okay. ⸻ [Outro – fading] Still driving. Still tired as hell. Still fighting with my own damn head. (Soft BV) “Still here…”