Barbara the Sailing Fan

BARBARA THE SAILING FAN (Spoken Intro) Breaking news from the NCU— Barbara the ceiling fan took a boat, Said she was tired of spinning in circles. Kevin the Refrigerator said, “That ain’t my business.” Which means it absolutely was. (Hook) Barbara the sailing fan, spinning with the wind Got a pirate hat on, toaster as her friend She don’t need a motor, she just spin-spin-spin If somebody tells a lie, she starts hurricane again Barbara the sailing fan, out there on the sea Mailbox yelling “bars,” Carl yelling “Not me!” She blew past the lighthouse, blew off Kevin’s wig Flip-flops on the fridge, baby—this is how we live (Verse 1) Barbara left the kitchen at a quarter past three With a mop-bucket boat and a rotisserie key Had sunglasses on and a little gold chain Said, “I’m finding inner peace—but first, I’m making rain” The dishwasher waved from a yacht made of plates The escalator mermaid said, “Girl, don’t be late” Then the Hula Hoop Cop pulled up in a canoe Said, “Ma’am, that fan breeze is illegal in this view” (Pre-Hook) Barbara said, “Officer, respectfully, no” Then she hit level three and the whole dock blew Carl’s side-hustle penguins were flying like kites And Peter the pothead pickle forgot how to fight (Hook) Barbara the sailing fan, spinning with the wind Got a pirate hat on, toaster as her friend She don’t need a motor, she just spin-spin-spin If somebody tells a lie, she starts hurricane again Barbara the sailing fan, out there on the sea Mailbox yelling “bars,” Carl yelling “Not me!” She blew past the lighthouse, blew off Kevin’s wig Flip-flops on the fridge, baby—this is how we live (Verse 2) She found an island made of burnt garlic bread With a coconut radio stuck up in a shed Grandma pulled up sideways in her Lamborghini canoe Said, “Barbara, baby, I got one question for you— Why you sailing with a toaster wearing ankle-monitor gear?” Toaster said, “Mind your business, I’m on my third year” Then Barbara spun slowly, the sky turned green ‘Cause Kevin said, “I didn’t eat the remote control screen.” (Beat Drop) WHOOOOSH! Barbara went maximum speed Chairs hit the water, mailbox planted a seed Hula Hoop Cop lost his badge in a wave Carl sold it online and called that “being brave” (Bridge) She spins when you lie She sails when she’s free She keeps a tiny compass In the plug by her knee No logic, no map Just vibes and a breeze Barbara the sailing fan Queen of the seven seas (Final Hook) Barbara the sailing fan, spinning with the wind Got a pirate hat on, toaster as her friend She don’t need a motor, she just spin-spin-spin If somebody tells a lie, she starts hurricane again Barbara the sailing fan, out there on the sea Mailbox yelling “bars,” Carl yelling “Not me!” And Kevin got blamed again—well, obviously Flip-flops on the fridge forever, NCU family (Outro) Barbara sailed into the sunset… Then came back because the sunset owed her twenty dollars. Kevin said he’d pay it. Barbara started spinning. Still SHINE