ALMOST RUINED ME (AND I LOVED IT)

alternative rock, post-grunge, modern rock

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V5.5

.........
okay so…
I hate you a little bit
but like…
the good kind of hate
you know?
…no you don't know, you never know anything
that's literally the problem

You show up at midnight with that stupid smile
Like I haven't been losing sleep this whole while
I should tell you to go
I should change the damn lock
But instead I make coffee
and we talk till six o'clock

You're bad for my sleep
bad for my head
bad for everything my therapist said
and yet here I am
making space on my bed
for someone who texts back
only when it's convenient

I'm not soft
I don't do this
I don't let people in through the back door
but you found a window
and I didn't board it up
because honestly?
I didn't want to

You almost ruined me
and I let you
you got under my skin
and I knew
I knew the whole time
it was gonna hurt like hell
but god it felt good
to feel something for real

You almost broke me
and the fucked up part is
I'd probably do it again
yeah I'd do it again

You leave your stuff everywhere like you own the place
Your jacket on my chair, your chaos in my space
I threw it across the room once
then put it back
because it smells like you
and I hate that I'm like that

You say "I'm not good for you"
like I don't have eyes
like I haven't already memorised
every single one of your beautiful lies
so don't warn me
I'm not asking for safe
I'm asking for real

I'm not fragile
I'm not waiting to be saved
I just want someone who shows the hell up
and stays

You almost ruined me
and I let you
you got under my skin
and I knew
I knew the whole time
it was gonna hurt like hell
but god it felt good
to feel something for real

You almost broke me
and the fucked up part is
I'd probably do it again
yeah I'd do it again

here's the thing I never say out loud —
I'm not scared of getting hurt
I've been hurt, I survived, whatever
what scares me is this
what scares me is you specifically
because you're the first person in a long time
who made me want to try

and that's terrifying
and I'm not gonna say it to your face
but I'm saying it now
so it exists somewhere

SO DON'T YOU DARE WASTE IT
DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY
DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME THE PERSON
WHO ALMOST MATTERED

You almost ruined me
and I let you
you got under my skin
and I knew
I knew the whole time
it was gonna hurt like hell
but god it felt good
to feel something for real

You almost broke me
and the fucked up part is
I'd do it again
I'd do it again
I'd do it every time

…idiot.
but like
my idiot
maybe
don't push it.

2489/7500

......... okay so… I hate you a little bit but like… the good kind of hate you know? …no you don't know, you never know anything that's literally the problem You show up at midnight with that stupid smile Like I haven't been losing sleep this whole while I should tell you to go I should change the damn lock But instead I make coffee and we talk till six o'clock You're bad for my sleep bad for my head bad for everything my therapist said and yet here I am making space on my bed for someone who texts back only when it's convenient I'm not soft I don't do this I don't let people in through the back door but you found a window and I didn't board it up because honestly? I didn't want to You almost ruined me and I let you you got under my skin and I knew I knew the whole time it was gonna hurt like hell but god it felt good to feel something for real You almost broke me and the fucked up part is I'd probably do it again yeah I'd do it again You leave your stuff everywhere like you own the place Your jacket on my chair, your chaos in my space I threw it across the room once then put it back because it smells like you and I hate that I'm like that You say "I'm not good for you" like I don't have eyes like I haven't already memorised every single one of your beautiful lies so don't warn me I'm not asking for safe I'm asking for real I'm not fragile I'm not waiting to be saved I just want someone who shows the hell up and stays You almost ruined me and I let you you got under my skin and I knew I knew the whole time it was gonna hurt like hell but god it felt good to feel something for real You almost broke me and the fucked up part is I'd probably do it again yeah I'd do it again here's the thing I never say out loud — I'm not scared of getting hurt I've been hurt, I survived, whatever what scares me is this what scares me is you specifically because you're the first person in a long time who made me want to try and that's terrifying and I'm not gonna say it to your face but I'm saying it now so it exists somewhere SO DON'T YOU DARE WASTE IT DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME THE PERSON WHO ALMOST MATTERED You almost ruined me and I let you you got under my skin and I knew I knew the whole time it was gonna hurt like hell but god it felt good to feel something for real You almost broke me and the fucked up part is I'd do it again I'd do it again I'd do it every time …idiot. but like my idiot maybe don't push it.

0/500