[Intro] Guess who’s back? Back again! Nah, screw that—guess who never left? (Yeah, that dude your mom still texts!) [Beat drops – funky bass groove, tight snare pop] [Verse 1] Two shots of espresso, one middle finger, My ego so big it needs its own jingle, Walk in the club lookin’ like a lawsuit, Whole crowd froze—thought I pressed “pause,” dude. I’m the glitch in your playlist, viral disease, Got a PhD in talkin’ with ease, Rappin’ so loud my mic got a tan, Even Siri calls me “sir,” I’m the man. I roast haters, medium rare, Turn their mom’s Wi-Fi into public share, Write diss tracks while I’m payin’ bills, And still got time to microwave meals. [Chorus – melodic hook with comic choir] Now this looks like a job for me, So everybody just roast with me, ‘Cause we need a little insanity, And that’s why they pay my salary! Now this looks like a job for me, So everybody get drunk with me, ‘Cause life’s a meme and the meme is me, Ain’t nobody rappin’ crazier, see! [Verse 2] I came here to ruin your algorithm, Crash your phone with sarcasm rhythm, Got beef? I’ll grill it on live stream, Serve it with fries and a marketing team. Your girl texted “LOL,” I replied “who dis?” She said “my bad,” I said “nah, it’s bliss,” I floss with your mixtape, brush my teeth with bass, Even your echo speaker need a safe space. I’m that dad joke with a Glock, TikTok on my wrist won’t stop, Every verse I drop gets flagged by bots, But they still dance to my toxic plots. [Bridge – half-sung, mock dramatic] If I offend you, good, that’s art, You can’t cancel what’s got no heart, I’m the clown prince of your smart TV, They muted me, but I’m still on repeat! [Chorus – full energy, layered ad-libs] Now this looks like a job for me, So everybody just roast with me, ‘Cause we need a little insanity, And that’s why they pay my salary! Now this looks like a job for me, So everybody get lit with me, ‘Cause life’s a meme and the meme is me, Ain’t nobody rappin’ crazier, see! [Verse 3 – final flex, double-time flow] I’m the reason your Wi-Fi cries, I’m the typo that monetized, I’m the Uber driver that philosophize, While takin’ selfies with your fries. My brain’s a mixtape, my mouth’s a crime, Punchlines land like overtime, I got demons doin’ backup vocals, God said, “Bro, you need socials.” [Outro – beat fades, circus sound effects] So here I am, your digital plague, Droppin’ bars like unpaid wage, If you hate this, congratulations, You just made my next vacation! (record scratch) I’m out. Go reboot your life, it’s laggin’.
