Wear My Dark Halo As I Please (no. 20)

Do you know what Charles Bukowski said, professor? Some people just don't look good when they get money. It doesn't suit them. Welcome to my family. They are so incredibly poor... that the only thing they fucking have... is money. Privilege-blind. Narcissistic. Psychopathic. A masterclass in velvet-covered rot. Please remain seated. The family will now explain reality. I stayed in the house of shifting names, while everybody polished all the frames. They washed your skin, they bought your clothes, while I swept up the shit beneath your nose. You came to money, darling, and oh, you grew so ugly. So beautifully clean. So academically smugly. You cut me flat to fit your black-and-white design. No grey survived inside your university line. You made yourself the center of every scar— even the ones that weren't yours. You mop up blood in a staged routine. You need a target? You pick my name. Ladies and gentlemen— THE PROJECTION SCREEN! I WEAR MY DARK HALO AS I PLEASE! NOT FOR YOUR SHOW! NOT ON MY KNEES! FORGED IN A WEIGHT YOU'LL NEVER KNOW! IN THE DARK PLACES YOU'LL NEVER GO! YOU HAVE YOUR MONEY! YOU HAVE YOUR LIES! YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL TEETH AND VERY EXPENSIVE EYES! I WEAR MY DARK HALO AS I PLEASE! THE SCREEN GOES DARK! I KEEP THE LIGHT Tax deductible. I never had parents. Let's authorize the truth. I was their equal under that hollow roof. Ten years old— middle management— emotional infrastructure without a fucking pension plan. The banker says: EQUITY! The mother says: GOLD! The brother says: CONTEXT! The accountant says: SOLD! The lawyer says: Interesting. The judge says: Next. The family says: WE NEVER SAID THAT! Wonderful. Then who wrote the minutes? The minutes have disappeared. WARNING. NUANCE LEVELS APPROACHING ZERO. FAMILY TREE: UNREADABLE. Nuance? Honey... there is no nuance in a courtroom! There is only: EXHIBIT A! EXHIBIT B! EXHIBIT FUCKING ME! Reboot the asylum! POOR IN SOUL! RICH IN CASH! PHOTOSHOP THE FAMILY! PHOTOSHOP THE PAST! CUT THE FRAME! BLAME THE GHOST! CHANGE THE NAME! I'M NOT YOUR OPPOSITE! I'M NOT YOUR PROOF! I'M NOT THE FUCKING SHADOW YOU PROJECT ON THE ROOF! I STEPPED OUT! FROM BENEATH YOUR ROOF! I was here too. Even when you couldn't see me. Not your villain. Not your proof. I remember the cracks. I remember the silence. I tried to hold the ceiling up with two hands and a childhood. Truth doesn't live in your cut routines. Truth is ugly. Truth is contradictory. Truth has bad posture. Truth walks into the wrong room and asks: Was this my family? Nobody answers. I WEAR MY DARK HALO AS I PLEASE! FORGED IN THE FIRE! CROSSED OUT IN RED! STRESS BECOMES SOURCE CODE! WRINKLES BECOME ART! TRAUMA GETS A LOGO! THE BANK GETS THE HEART! YOUR VAMMELIGE EMPIRE IS FALLING APART! I WEAR MY DARK HALO! I WEAR IT CROOKED! I WEAR IT LIKE A CROWN THAT NOBODY BOOKED! AND IF YOU NEED A VILLAIN— PLEASE FORM AN ORDERLY QUEUE! The screen is dark. The ledger is burning. The money is paper on the floor. The accountant has become a bird. The bird has become evidence. The evidence has become... ...a lifestyle choice. I wear the dark halo. Steady. Still. Slightly crooked. Completely free. ...under the circumstances. Family status: PENDING. Reality status: UNKNOWN. Halo status: SELF-EMPLOYED.