my pulse is too loud the light is too white i can count the threads in the carpet i can count the seconds since you turned the lock usually nothing usually blur usually hiding in the mess i made the room is shrinking your eyes are open you said ... look at me. and i panicked because i could. i am on the edge i am on the floor i can feel the blood underneath my skin it’s not a dream, it’s a body it’s not a blur, it’s heavy (terrified to be real) your hand is a heavy thing your breath is a hot thing i’m sobering up against the wall waiting to break you don't let go you don't let me look away... sickness is gone, the fear remains raw as a nerve i’m open wide i’m finally climbing out the dark don't blink. don't drift. don't run. don't leave. (stop acting) (stop acting) FEEL IT i am on the edge i am on the floor hold me down till the shaking stops i’ve been floating a thousand years terrified to be this real (terrified to stay) now i’m here. now i’m here. now i'm here (God, i'm here)
