667. MODERN INTERCOURSE (Remastered)

Brian setzer swing, MALE VOCALS, random jumps in tempo and cadence, sound effects, echos, syncopations, call-response on every line, flourishes, drums, rich full swing orchestra

[Verse 1] I hit the knees, a sudden drop, a religious devotion To set the biological machinery in motion I opened wide to accommodate the sheer logistics Prepared to defy the standard oral statistics I took the head, I took the shaft, I took the base I buried my dignity in the pelvic space

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Refrain 1] [Fast, staccato beat] But there’s a glow. A spectral light. Illuminating the darkest night. It isn't passion. It isn't heat. It’s the glare of a tweet.

[Chorus 1] [Heavy, grinding tempo] It is intercourse in the age of the stream Where the flesh is present but the mind is a meme He cannot stay hard unless the pixel is bright A boner dependent on the cellular light I’m gagging on marble, I’m draining the vein While he’s tracking his crypto on the blockchain

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Verse 2] I surface for air, just to check on the vital signs And see that he’s reading the New York Times headlines I’m working the prostate with a manicured claw While he’s checking the polls in rubbing his jaw He hasn't moaned, he hasn't twitched, he hasn't spoke I’m servicing a corpse who is checking a joke

[Refrain 2] The device is the lover, the screen is the hole I’m just the accessory taking the toll He’s swiping on Grindr, looking for trade While currently getting the best that he’s laid

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Chorus 2] I am polishing silver I am milking the cow! And he’s posting a status update right now "Feeling cute, might delete later," he types While I’m navigating the anatomical pipes It’s a blush-pink tragedy, a waste of the spit If the battery dies, then the libido will quit

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Bridge] [Tempo slows, gritty and dirty] I should have gone back to the piss-stained wall And taken the Fisherman, smell and all The sixty-five-year-old with the hands in the crack Digging for gold in the hairy outback

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

I’d rather be crushed by the Saffron sot The sailor who smells like a lobster pot! Give me the stench of the bilge and the gin At least they know where to put the thing in! Give me a man who is dirty and rough Not a sanitized scrolling piece of... fluff.

[Verse 3] [Music stops. Silence.] So I grabbed the iPhone. (Pause) And I threw it out the window. Fifth floor. Walk up.

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Refrain 3] And instantly Magic The rigor mortis Dissolved like a sugar cube in a fortress The blush-pink soldier admitted defeat A hydraulic failure, a sudden retreat! Without the connection to the digital teat He was soft as a marshmallow and twice as sweet

[(break)]

[(slow down)]

[Outro] I handed him his denim and I opened the latch "Go find your phone in the garbage patch." He ran out naked, a tragic display To chase the connection that got away. Copied to clipboard. The file is corrupted. The sexual session has been interrupted.

[(break)]

[(slow down)]
[Coda] [Spoken dryly, over fading bass] Zero retention. Sexual suspension. Go charge yourself, honey.

3395/7500

[sung Intro] [Sound of a lighter flicking, heavy exhale of smoke] So I took the charity case home. The "Blush Pink" scroller from the urinal. A rescue mission, really. I felt bad for the denim. We get back to my place, the jeans hit the floor, and I’m thinking... "Okay, God. You exist. And you are generous." Uncut. Heavy. A blush-pink monuments to bad decisions. But the tragedy, Mary? The tragedy is the reception. [Verse 1] I hit the knees, a sudden drop, a religious devotion To set the biological machinery in motion I opened wide to accommodate the sheer logistics Prepared to defy the standard oral statistics I took the head, I took the shaft, I took the base I buried my dignity in the pelvic space [(break)] [(slow down)] [Refrain 1] [Fast, staccato beat] But there’s a glow. A spectral light. Illuminating the darkest night. It isn't passion. It isn't heat. It’s the glare of a tweet. [Chorus 1] [Heavy, grinding tempo] It is intercourse in the age of the stream Where the flesh is present but the mind is a meme He cannot stay hard unless the pixel is bright A boner dependent on the cellular light I’m gagging on marble, I’m draining the vein While he’s tracking his crypto on the blockchain [(break)] [(slow down)] [Verse 2] I surface for air, just to check on the vital signs And see that he’s reading the New York Times headlines I’m working the prostate with a manicured claw While he’s checking the polls in rubbing his jaw He hasn't moaned, he hasn't twitched, he hasn't spoke I’m servicing a corpse who is checking a joke [Refrain 2] The device is the lover, the screen is the hole I’m just the accessory taking the toll He’s swiping on Grindr, looking for trade While currently getting the best that he’s laid [(break)] [(slow down)] [Chorus 2] I am polishing silver I am milking the cow! And he’s posting a status update right now "Feeling cute, might delete later," he types While I’m navigating the anatomical pipes It’s a blush-pink tragedy, a waste of the spit If the battery dies, then the libido will quit [(break)] [(slow down)] [Bridge] [Tempo slows, gritty and dirty] I should have gone back to the piss-stained wall And taken the Fisherman, smell and all The sixty-five-year-old with the hands in the crack Digging for gold in the hairy outback [(break)] [(slow down)] I’d rather be crushed by the Saffron sot The sailor who smells like a lobster pot! Give me the stench of the bilge and the gin At least they know where to put the thing in! Give me a man who is dirty and rough Not a sanitized scrolling piece of... fluff. [Verse 3] [Music stops. Silence.] So I grabbed the iPhone. (Pause) And I threw it out the window. Fifth floor. Walk up. [(break)] [(slow down)] [Refrain 3] And instantly Magic The rigor mortis Dissolved like a sugar cube in a fortress The blush-pink soldier admitted defeat A hydraulic failure, a sudden retreat! Without the connection to the digital teat He was soft as a marshmallow and twice as sweet [(break)] [(slow down)] [Outro] I handed him his denim and I opened the latch "Go find your phone in the garbage patch." He ran out naked, a tragic display To chase the connection that got away. Copied to clipboard. The file is corrupted. The sexual session has been interrupted. [(break)] [(slow down)] [Coda] [Spoken dryly, over fading bass] Zero retention. Sexual suspension. Go charge yourself, honey.

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