[Intro – Bright Talk-Box Electro-Funk Groove] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice, Cheerfully Sung] Welcome We value your time Estimated completion time: Five minutes [Natural Male Lead] You say that Like minutes grow back [Verse 1 – Soulful and Controlled] You bought a million-dollar portal That cannot read a page So before you even look at me I work without a wage I carry every date across And rebuild every role I clean the mess your parser made Then thank you for the chore I’m not a candidate yet Not a person Not a name I’m the temporary data clerk You never have to pay [Groove Stutters] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Candidate experience [Natural Male Lead] Is that what this is called? [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Simple Friendly Seamless [Natural Male Lead] Friendly to whom? [Chorus – Natural Lead with Talk-Box Hook] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Create another account [Natural Male Lead] Before you know my name [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] We value candidate experience [Natural Male Lead] But every field’s the same [Both Voices] Before you ever hire me You put me straight to work Your automation saves you money By making me your clerk [Robotic Talk-Box Voice, Sweetly] Thank you for your patience This should take five minutes [Verse 2 – Funk Groove, Irony Growing] My life does not fit in your menu The truth is not a choice Choose the nearest wrong answer Then certify it in my voice Every pause requires a reason Every change becomes a flaw Life must fit the list provided Or it never lived at all French becomes a software Leadership becomes a school The form decides what knowledge is I only follow rules [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Optional cover letter [Groove Drops Out] Required [Natural Male Lead] Tell us why you’re passionate In one thousand words or less About a company described In three vague sentences at best [Chorus – Wider Talk-Box Harmonies] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Create another account [Natural Male Lead] Before you know my name [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] We value candidate experience [Natural Male Lead] But every field’s the same [Both Voices] Before you ever hire me You put me straight to work Your automation saves you money By making me your clerk [Verse 3 – Bass and Clavinet Drive Forward] One vacancy One hundred people Forty minutes each Nearly sixty-seven unpaid hours Before a human reads a sheet Multiply that by every opening Every company Every week Efficiency is beautiful When somebody else pays the fee You call it automation Because your hands are finally free Funny how the future works: The machine saves you From me [Bridge – Instruments Stack One by One] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] To protect your privacy Please complete all required fields [Natural Male Lead] I give you every address Every date Every school Every place I’ve ever worked Every language Every tool Why I left Where I’ll move When I’m free Who I am You give me one generic paragraph And: [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Other duties As assigned [Natural Male Lead] I agree to eighty pages You agree to nothing back I surrender all my history To keep my data safe [Dynamic Synth-Funk Build] Review complete Click “Submit” Spinning circle Do not quit Almost there Please do not— [All Music Stops] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] An unexpected error has occurred Your session has expired For your protection [Natural Male Lead] Whose protection? [Original Intro Restarts Exactly] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice, Cheerfully Sung] Welcome We value your time Estimated completion time: Five minutes [Final Chorus – Lead and Talk Box Confrontation] [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] CREATE ANOTHER ACCOUNT! [Natural Male Lead] YOU STILL DON’T KNOW MY NAME! [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] WE VALUE CANDIDATE EXPERIENCE! [Natural Male Lead] THEN WHY IS EVERY FIELD THE SAME? [Both Voices] Before you even reject us You put us straight to work Your automation saves you money By making us your clerks One hundred fifty portals One hundred fifty doors A different password every time To be ignored once more [Robotic Talk-Box Voice] Thank you for your patience We value your time [Music Drops to Bass Pulse] [Natural Male Lead, Calm and Direct] No You value yours [Final Synth Chord]
