The Greatest Gift

The physical toll of this intense romance is real
I'm weeping with this gratitude, you don't know how I feel!
She gave me something durable, a love without a doubt
Like a really bad gym membership that's impossible to cancel out!
It shows up unexpected just to remind me that it's there
I thought of sharing with my roommate, but that wouldn't be quite fair
It’s so deeply personal, best shared in a dark room with the lights off
(No coughing, please!)
And man, it really breaks out whenever I get stressed
Because true love knows exactly when I’m feeling so depressed!

(And now I know!)
Because Herpes is the greatest gift of all!
(Type 1 and Type 2!)
Yeah, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, spring, winter, or fall!
(Hallelujah!)
Jewelry's gonna fade, and those fancy cars will rust
But this beautiful memento stays until I turn to dust!
It’s in my nervous system, deep inside my DNA
The greatest gift of all is never going away!

(A-one, two, three, four!) *car horn*
I can't go to the beach without a flare-up of emotion
I'm rubbing on this topical, over-the-counter lotion!
My doctor wrote a script for some Valacyclovir
I said, "Doc, you mean my Val-ah-feel-good-er is here?"
(*Fart noise*)
My dating life is exactly like a game of Minesweeper
One wrong move on a Friday night, and boom—I'm a lonely weeper!
But hey, I'm looking on the bright side, I never have to shop
I’ve got the perfect hand-me-down, and it is never gonna stop!

(Take it up a notch!)
Because Herpes is the greatest gift of all!
(Type 1 and Type 2!)
Yeah, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, spring, winter, or fall!
(Sing it out!)
Jewelry's gonna fade, and those fancy cars will rust
But this beautiful memento stays until I turn to dust!
It’s in my nervous system, deep inside my DNA
The greatest gift of all is never going away!
(Yee-haw! *penny whistle trill*)

(Shhhh...)
They say it's better to give... than it is to receive...
But honestly... I'm just glad we can share it forever.

2546/7500

I took a little trip down to Cabo for some sun Met a passionate señorita, and we had a lot of fun Before I left, she handed me a mystery surprise A souvenir of summer love with danger in her eyes! It cost absolutely nothing to give, yet stays with you for life (Honestly, it's gonna last much longer than my second wife) It instantly brought a tingling warmth to my lower regions, man Left me completely breathless, yeah, that was the master plan! It's a volcano of love, bubbling right beneath the crust Just waiting to erupt, because our love was built on trust! (Ooh, ahh!) The physical toll of this intense romance is real I'm weeping with this gratitude, you don't know how I feel! She gave me something durable, a love without a doubt Like a really bad gym membership that's impossible to cancel out! It shows up unexpected just to remind me that it's there I thought of sharing with my roommate, but that wouldn't be quite fair It’s so deeply personal, best shared in a dark room with the lights off (No coughing, please!) And man, it really breaks out whenever I get stressed Because true love knows exactly when I’m feeling so depressed! (And now I know!) Because Herpes is the greatest gift of all! (Type 1 and Type 2!) Yeah, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, spring, winter, or fall! (Hallelujah!) Jewelry's gonna fade, and those fancy cars will rust But this beautiful memento stays until I turn to dust! It’s in my nervous system, deep inside my DNA The greatest gift of all is never going away! (A-one, two, three, four!) *car horn* I can't go to the beach without a flare-up of emotion I'm rubbing on this topical, over-the-counter lotion! My doctor wrote a script for some Valacyclovir I said, "Doc, you mean my Val-ah-feel-good-er is here?" (*Fart noise*) My dating life is exactly like a game of Minesweeper One wrong move on a Friday night, and boom—I'm a lonely weeper! But hey, I'm looking on the bright side, I never have to shop I’ve got the perfect hand-me-down, and it is never gonna stop! (Take it up a notch!) Because Herpes is the greatest gift of all! (Type 1 and Type 2!) Yeah, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, spring, winter, or fall! (Sing it out!) Jewelry's gonna fade, and those fancy cars will rust But this beautiful memento stays until I turn to dust! It’s in my nervous system, deep inside my DNA The greatest gift of all is never going away! (Yee-haw! *penny whistle trill*) (Shhhh...) They say it's better to give... than it is to receive... But honestly... I'm just glad we can share it forever.

0/500