Three in the morning Bare feet on cold tile Sink running for no reason Been standing here a while I catch myself in the window Black glass looking back There you are. Same mess. Different night. Yeah. Still here though. For now. You know how easy this gets when everybody's asleep No calls No questions No one watching you sink Take the worst thing you remember Play it till it feels brand new Then take everything you've hated and convince yourself it's you That's bullshit. Is it? Sit down. Stand up. Nobody cares. That's not true. You don't know that. Neither do you. Something keeps pulling me under Something keeps catching the fall One voice says "What's the damn point?" The other says "Not tonight. That's all." I don't know where either comes from I just know which one wants me gone And lately when the floor drops out something keeps holding on I walk outside Cold air hits hard Neighbor's porch is dark Whole street dead quiet For once my head shuts up long enough to hear my own breath In Out Nothing profound Just proof I haven't stopped yet You call that winning? No. I call it breathing. You'll be back down here tomorrow. Probably. Then what's the point? Ask me tomorrow. I KNOW YOUR WEAK SPOTS I KNOW YOUR HOURS I KNOW WHICH MEMORY TAKES ALL THE POWER I KNOW THE GUILT I KNOW THE SHAME I KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN MOUTH SAY MY NAME GET DOWN STAY DOWN QUIT GETTING BACK UP NO. YOU THINK ONE WORD CHANGES A DAMN THING? Changed this minute. Maybe that's how this works Not some big rescue Not thunder in the room Maybe something just keeps saying one more minute one more step one more sunrise when I'd rather hear the other one Something still pulls me under Something still catches the fall One voice keeps naming the reasons I shouldn't be here at all The other never makes a promise Never says this ends tonight It just keeps putting weight beneath me every time I start to slide I'll be here tomorrow. Yeah. So will I. That's enough.
