[Intro: Texan-accented male MC, harmonica blast over a heavy shuffle] Y'all hear that? That's a big hat comin' through the door Boots so clean they never touched a thing but hotel floor [Verse 1: Texan-accented male MC, slow heavy drawl over a stomping kick] He came struttin' through the lobby in a hat as wide as Lubbock Silver buckle like a hubcap and a mouth that wouldn't stop it Talkin' heifers, talkin' acreage, talkin' bulls he never bought Talkin' rain he never prayed for, talkin' droughts he never fought I was sittin' at the end in a feed-store cap and denim With some pasture on my boot heel, and I didn't try to clean 'em Darlin' at the bar kept laughin' at his stories by the yard I just sipped my water slow and kept my elbows on the bar [Hook: Texan-accented male MC, full band] You're all hat and no cattle, I'm all cattle and no hat You can keep your ten-gallon, I got ten thousand on the flat A big brim never fed a calf, a buckle never mended fence You got all the hat in Texas, I got all the cattle sense [Verse 2: Texan-accented male MC, harder, harmonica stabs between the bars] Then he leaned on down the bar and he looked me up and down Said, "Boy, you lost? The feed store's on the other side of town" I said, "Fixin' to be leavin', but I'll ask you one or two What's a yearlin' weigh in April? What's a heifer carry through?" Well, he coughed into his whiskey and he talked about the sky Said his granddaddy ran a thousand head, and I said, "Sure, but why Is there not a lick of dirt beneath a single fingernail?" And the bar got quiet enough to hear the ice melt in the pail [Hook: Texan-accented male MC, full band] You're all hat and no cattle, I'm all cattle and no hat You can keep your ten-gallon, I got ten thousand on the flat A big brim never fed a calf, a buckle never mended fence You got all the hat in Texas, I got all the cattle sense [Verse 3: Texan-accented male MC, hoofbeat rush, the kick doubles into a rolling gallop] Come the mornin', forty trailers rollin' down the interstate Every one of 'em a-bawlin' with my brand on every gate And he's standin' in the lobby with his coffee and his phone When the wind came down the highway and it took his hat alone It went tumblin' cross the shoulder underneath my second truck And it came out flat as Tuesday, darlin', that's just Texas luck Y'all, he looked at me for help, and I just touched my cap and grinned Said, "You keep the brim, partner, I'll be ridin' with the wind" [Final Hook: Texan-accented male MC, full band] You're all hat and no cattle, I'm all cattle and no hat You can keep your ten-gallon, I got ten thousand on the flat A big brim never fed a calf, a buckle never mended fence You got all the hat in Texas, I got all the cattle sense [End]
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