I've had a few people inquiring about my screen name, so I decided to answer those questions with a song. In short, it's a character that spawned from me misreading my brother's pitch for a YT skit we could do back when we were in school. He wrote "The Badfather," but I read "The Badfatler." From there, his lore grew stupider and stupider. I'll list some more character information after the lyrics for anyone who's interested. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I quit my job at Wendy’s, bought a cape and some face paint, Declared myself a menace to the good and mildly quaint. I built a lair in Grandma’s shed and formed a villain crew, We’re BAD: Brotherhood Against Do-Gooders! (We meet every other Tuesday. Bring snacks.) There’s Old Man with his sacred patch of lawn, And Soccer Mom, don’t question how we made it here at dawn. Dubstep Pirate’s glowing, Count Goldencoins is rich, And Mr. Disguise is... wait, which one's which? Call me The Badfatler, the chaos conductor! I make the heroes I’ll lose to later! Another master plan, another heist gone wrong, Still I crank up the horns and I sing this song! Hey! I’m the villain that fate adores Kicked in the teeth, but I come back for more! I lose with style, it's part of the plan, I swear! I’ll Heromake a legend from thin freakin' air! There! A girl with braces, rides a scooter through the rain! I name thee Thunderfang! (No wait... Brace Blaster!...nah, Skater Pain!) I point my finger, she starts to glow, Now she grinds a powerline and shouts, “YO, LET’S GO!” [Horn Break / Ska Interlude] YO! - brrrraap! LET’S! - da-da-da-da-DA! GOOOO! - WAAAAH! Mr. Disguise is a vending machine again, Deviously giving out pop with saccharine. Only I can see him for what he’s not, That boy sure can be an evil snot (Boy! Snap out of it! Stop spitting out Diet Sprite!) Call me The Badfatler, the punchline predictor! I may lose, but I make heroes the victor! (YOU DRESS LIKE A MESS!) It's pronounced debonair! (BRO, YOU MAKE HEROES!) Newsflash! I’m well aware! I'm the villain who's writing the plot, But somehow the heroes steal every shot. I blow it again, but it’s still a blast, Call me The Badfatler, and kiss my... mask! At a strip mall food court, he appears to me, A barista with rage and a master's degree. I dub thee Sir Caffeine, The Espresso Knight! Now he slings hot foam and justice in equal might. BAD, We Retreat! ...But not before I get a pumpkin scone. [Horn Break / Ska Interlude] Call me The Badfatler, you’ll never forget me! I'll make you great, if you'd just let me! (YOU BLEW UP A CVS!) Minor setback, just trust me! (YOU GAVE THAT NUN FIRE POWERS!) Yeah, she smote me so sweetly! I'm the villain you didn’t expect Cursed to correct what I meant to wreck Heroes rise, and my plans implode I'll write my next one on the commode Bee! Ayy! Dee! We lose epically! Bee! Ayy! Dee! Still got our legacy! Bee! Ayy! Dee! We go down swingin’ Even when the good guys win, Losing's a job worth doin'! Alright team, who else wants some Potato Olé's? Hi ho Soccer Mom! Onward to Taco John's ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Badfatler is a comically evil villain whose superpower is called "Heromaker." Literally, he's an overweight dude that gave up working a real job to pursue his passion of superheroes. He seems to have a meta ability that lets him siphon universal energy into normal people and give them powers that meet his imagination. For example, his buddy's mom drives them around town in her minivan, so he named her Soccer Mom, and her power is that no matter how badly she drives, they always get to where they need to be on time, and with no actual harm to the inhabitants of the minivan. She is a member of his cadre, they call themselves B.A.D. (The Brotherhood Against Do-Gooders.) The other members of B.A.D. are Old Man (carries a mat of his lawn on which he is invincible, mostly just yells at people to get off his lawn,) Dubstep Pirate (dances violently and glows in the dark,) Count Goldencoins (he's rich,) and the only member of his group that had his own powers, Mr. Disguise (can disguise himself perfectly as anything, but slips entirely into the personality of his disguise, only The Badfatler can instantly tell it's him and can snap him out of it.) The Badfatler calls Mr. Disguise "Boy," as he as taken him as his sidekick. He finds the people he wants to be heroes with an indiscernible pattern. For example, while starting to rob a bodega, he saw a teenage boy walking with crutches, called him Crutch Boy, and proceeded to lose to him in combat, swearing vengeance. Crutch Boy went on to never heal his ankle, but be able to fight with crutches better than Jackie Chan, and was eventually given the key to the city for his efforts in fighting crime. Another example, suggesting that The Badfatler can either travel time or just doesn't age, is the Ghost Hero, Herrman Van Ghorst. Herrman was a psychologist under the direct study of Jung and Freud, but was found hung in his closet, hanging by his tie. decades later, Herrman resurfaced as Gulk, the hulking philosopher and psychologist. See? No rhyme or reason, just heroes that will always defeat his cadre. The Badfatler is a superfan of superheroes, and he uses his powers to fill the world with them. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ © 2025 The Badfatler All rights reserved.
