I Wish My Eyes Could Not See Beauty

I wish my eyes could not see beauty I count the faults inside my hands I polish shame like wedding bands I tell my heart to lock the door So beauty cannot wander in anymore I practice looking past the light I turn my face away from sight A lovely street, a smile, a dress All quiet threats I must suppress I wish my eyes could not see beauty I wish my ears could lose their duty To hear soft words that make me ache To risk a step I cannot take Sometimes a voice slips through the wall A gentle timbre, warm and small It hums a tune I cannot fight It tugs at threads I wrapped up tight What if she liked the lines on me The crooked laugh, the quiet plea I shut the thought as if a sin Because hope would pull the lock within I wish my eyes could not see beauty I wish my ears could lose their duty To hear kind words that make me burn To learn a wish I cannot learn I tell myself I do not need The tender glance, the passing reed If love could leave, then fear leaves too But fear clings like morning dew So I unlearn the way to ask I wear my solitude like a mask I teach my chest to feel less whole To stop expecting any toll I wish my eyes could not see beauty I wish my ears could lose their duty I wish the love that swells my chest Would fold away and let me rest I wish my eyes could not see beauty But even silence keeps its sound