He lay face down in the desert sand Clutching a six-pack in his hand Shot from behind, I thought he was dead From between his nuts … was an ounce of led But his spark still burned So I used my knife That was the night I ruined the sex life of Mondo (Mondo!) [western guitar solo] Days went by, he mended quick We took the bandages off his dick And what was left wouldn’t please a rabbit But he was certainly quick to grab it Hour and hour I rolled with laughter No woman alive would ever go after Mondo (Mondo!) [western banjo solo] One day we rode the mountain crest I went еast and he went west I took to porno, bеcame a star While he spread histericks, near and far All through the west he gained such fame In every bar they cracked up at the name of “Mondo” (Mondo!) [western solo] I knew some day I’d face the test Which one of us could shoot the best And sure enough the word came down That he was holed up in the town I left the posse out in the street Then I went in, to beat the meat, with Mondo (Mondo!) They said my squirt was next to none My lightning hand had just begun When I felt the splash across my face Thats when I knew, I’d lost the race He shot not once but again and again And through the rain, all I could see was the grin of Mondo (Mondo!) They say that was the only time That anyone had seen him smile He slowly packed his manhood And then he said to me “We’re even, friend” Than and there I understood at last None could overcome the past, like Mondo (Mondo!) I walked the path of his retreat He turned and stepped into the street A dozen boots made way to his crotch … A moment later he lay soft … The town began to shout and cheer No one was to shed a tear… for Mondo (Mondo!) Mondo (Mondo!) (Mondo!)
