Mr Potato Did It (Again)

“Mr Potato Did It (Again)” [Intro] Ladies and gentlemen… Introducing the most dramatic member of the household… My French bulldog… Mr Potato. He’s not guilty. He’s just… consistently involved. ⸻ [Verse 1] Mr Potato wakes up like he’s runnin’ the town, Short little legs but he struts around, Big ol’ head, tiny body of doom, Somehow takes up the entire room. He hears “walk” and loses his mind, Spins in circles like he’s one of a kind, Leash in my hand but he’s dragging ME, This 18-pound chaos is a full catastrophe. He looks real innocent, sitting so still, But I know that face means “I just caused a spill,” Water bowl tipped, pillow on the floor, And he’s blinking like “What are you mad for?” ⸻ [Chorus] Mr Potato did it… again! I turned my back for like five seconds and then— The trash is gone, the couch is chewed, And somehow he’s acting confused! Mr Potato did it… no lie! He swears he’s innocent every time I try, But I see the evidence scattered around, Little potato chaos all over the ground! ⸻ [Verse 2] He got the zoomies at 2 A.M., Running full speed into imaginary friends, Hits the wall, keeps going anyway, Like physics is just suggestions he’ll betray. He steals my socks like it’s a full-time job, Parades around proud like a fluffy little mob, If I say “drop it,” he looks away, Suddenly he’s bilingual in “I don’t obey.” Tried to crate train him—he gave me a stare, Like “You built a prison and you expect me to care?” Then he sighs real loud, flops on his side, Like a dramatic king on a royal ride. ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Can somebody explain… Why every single crime Leads right back to him Every single time? ⸻ [Chorus] Mr Potato did it… again! I swear I just cleaned up, now here we go then— Another mystery mess in the hall, And he’s pretending he saw nothing at all! Mr Potato did it… I know! But he wiggles his butt and I let it go, Because he’s too cute when he acts like that, Even when he’s clearly plotting the next attack! ⸻ [Bridge] Me: “Who did this?” Mr Potato: stares dramatically Me: “Was it you?” Mr Potato: sighs like I’m the problem Me: “…I knew it.” Mr Potato: rolls over, victorious ⸻ [Rap Verse] Short legs, big attitude, Walks in the room like “Change your mood.” Snorts when he runs, can’t catch his breath, Still challenges everyone to a race to the death. Pillow thief, snack thief, sock collector too, If something goes missing, I already know who. He’s got the face of an angel, don’t be fooled by the vibe— That’s a professional chaos gremlin inside. Vet said “healthy,” I said “you sure?” Because he acts like a tornado with fur. But then he curls up, snoring so loud, And suddenly I forget what I was mad about. ⸻ [Verse 3] At night he climbs up right next to me, Like “This is my bed, obviously.” Pushes me over, takes all the space, Then sighs in my face like he won the case. And even though he’s trouble, loud, and wild, He’s still my favorite kind of child, Because life’s just better, messy and sweet, With a little potato snoozing at your feet. ⸻ [Final Chorus] Mr Potato did it… again! But I love that chaos more than I can explain, He’s my little gremlin, my chunky best friend, And I know he’ll do it all over again! Mr Potato did it… it’s true! But honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing about you, So go ahead, steal another sock, I’ll just sit here and watch the clock! ⸻ [Outro] Me: “Mr Potato… were you good today?” He immediately walks into a wall. Mr Potato: “snort” 😂🐶🥔 “Case closed… no further questions.”