[Instrumental intro] [Verse] Woke up at five-thirty, barely opened my eyes, Got a motorcycle mission, gotta hit the highway! Crossing through Texas, everything seemed okay, Then my blood sugar dropped like— “NOT TODAY!” Grabbed my glucose tablets, tried to get back on track, I thought I had it handled, I thought it had my back. But later on the road, here we go again, Juice in my hand like, “Seriously, my friend?” [Pre-Chorus] One low... Two low... Three low... How many more can my body throw? [Chorus] MY BODY HATES ME TODAY! It keeps pulling me down on the way! Glucose, juice, soda too, I don't know what my body's trying to do! My brother looks over and starts to say: “Man, your body hates you today!” Yeah, thanks for noticing— I FIGURED THAT OUT TODAY! [Verse 2] Stopped at a store, grabbed some protein to eat, Thought maybe now I'd finally get back on my feet. Then suddenly—LOW! Again? Are you kidding me? More glucose tablets like a sugar emergency! Back on the highway, heading home again, Different state, same problem, round number ten! Blood sugar drops and I'm reaching for a soda, My body's acting like it wants to overthrow the driver! [Pre-Chorus] One low... Two low... Three low... How many more can my body throw? [Chorus] MY BODY HATES ME TODAY! It keeps pulling me down on the way! Glucose, juice, soda too, I don't know what my body's trying to do! My brother looks over and starts to say: “Man, your body hates you today!” Yeah, thanks for noticing— I FIGURED THAT OUT TODAY! [Breakdown] And then I looked out the window... Tea Daddy. Papa John's. HOT SMOKE. WHY ARE THESE BUILDINGS NAMED THIS?! [Instrumental solo] [Funny Instrumental Break] TEA DADDY! PAPA JOHN'S! HOT SMOKE! WHAT IS HAPPENING?! [Bridge] The road keeps rolling, but I don't feel great, I'm trying to push through, but it's getting pretty late. Still got one more mission, one more thing to do, Gotta make it to Rig Radio— 'CAUSE THE SHOW MUST GO! [Interlogue] Maybe I'm tired, Maybe I'm worn, Maybe my body's declaring a war. But put on the headphones, Turn up the sound, I'm still gonna show up when the radio comes around! [Chorus] MY BODY HATES ME TODAY! But I'm still gonna make it anyway! Glucose, juice, soda too, Somehow I'm still pushing through! My brother said it perfectly today: “Man, your body hates you today!” Well, body, listen— YOU DON'T GET TO CANCEL MY SHOW TODAY! [Outro – Spoken] Welcome to Rig Radio... I'm your co-host... And apparently... My blood sugar is also a co-host. ...and it has terrible timing.
