𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒌𝒂 𝒁𝒖𝒍𝒖 — 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝑰𝒇 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑴𝒆 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I look at the sky like are You even hearing me standing in darkness while doubt keeps steering me hands shaking faith breaking heart tired of waiting every prayer feels lost in translation God I’m talking honest no filter tonight I’m tired of pretending that everything’s fine You gave me love then distance appeared now my own blood exists somewhere I’m not near watch over my little angel tonight tell her her father still fights for the light whisper her name when she closes her eyes tell her my love never learned how to die I know I’m angry I know I’m flawed sometimes I curse while talking to God too much fire inside my chest trying to heal but I fail the test every calm moment never lasts every memory pulls me back why give a heart just to watch it bleed why plant hope then remove the seed why show heaven then lock the gate why teach love then separate sometimes I scream sometimes I pray sometimes I don’t know what to say sometimes I scream sometimes I pray sometimes I don’t know what to say I’m still here still breathing still searching still bleeding thoughts start racing mind overloaded reality breaking memory flashes regret overlapping past and future violently clashing running through thoughts like a storm in motion holding together emotional explosions trying to drown in devotion while swimming inside this ocean motherfucker I’m asking where do I go when faith feels fragile and answers move slow I talk to silence it talks back louder standing alone but my spirit grows prouder I won’t abandon the love I keep even when pain interrupts my sleep I carry her name in everything I do every breath still leads to You rapid thoughts no pause no rest heartbeat hammering inside my chest mind spinning faster than language allows questions too heavy to speak out loud every syllable fired like rounds trying to lift this invisible ground I refuse to collapse refuse to break even when doubt tells faith to shake even when hope feels counterfeit something inside won’t quit maybe one day when she’s grown and free life brings her footsteps back to me I’ll stand waiting arms open wide with every year I kept love alive I’m not healed not whole just walking forward with a burning soul God if You hear me I’m still awake still trying to believe for my child’s sake and even broken even scarred I still look up and call You God