Smelly cat that refuses to bathe, I can smell it over the internet Hold your breath because the router is leaking toxins Fuzzy is the only person on earth who can make a digital signal turn brown (Verse 1) Yo Fuzzy you’re a biological disaster and honestly I’m disgusted Your aura smells like a dumpster behind a seafood restaurant in the middle of July You’re the definitive smelly cat Refusing to wash like you’re allergic to the concept of hydration hitting your skin Even a spray bottle triggers your fight-or-flight response, hissing at tap water like a demon I smell the staleness through the fiber optics, it's a localized weather event of pure stank Soap is your kryptonite, but apparently so is paying for your own fake beats Begging the algorithm for daily handouts just to leak generated noise pollution into the atmosphere The shower head sees you and starts crying because it has no purpose in your life whatsoever You’re cooked Charred Burnt to a crisp but the stench is only getting stronger with the heat (Random Rap Break) Let’s break down a day in the life of this pink-haired casualty Wake up at 2 PM and immediately get offended by the concept of capitalism Sip a lukewarm soy latte while plotting a boycott against a soap brand you don't even use Dye your bangs neon magenta just to simulate a crumb of personality Screaming on the internet for social justice but your own bedroom looks like a biohazard quarantine zone Puddle of mayonnaise brain Twelve Cardboard gravity and the texture of a Tuesday Your shoes look like they were designed by a confused pigeon You probably use a fork to eat soup Your favorite color is beige but like a really sad version of it (Verse 2) Pass out on catnip Nah, sugar overdose with skyrocketing insulin levels Bitter cat munching sweets, twerking naked in the streets Hit by a car but completely safe because there are no brain cells left to fly out Up in the hospital waking up from the morphine, switching straight to talcum powder You radiate desperate farmyard energy while blinding yourself with your own numbing cream Accident-prone bottom-feeder needing a helmet and child-proof lids just to survive in your own living room Step into a server and the mods have to put on hazmat suits Just to keep the firewall from melting under the weight of your unwashed spirit It’s genuinely repulsive How you managed to make a digital avatar look like it needs a scrub with industrial bleach I’m wiping my monitor down right now worried the scent will permanently stain my hardware Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault Nah, it’s definitely your fault You and the bathtub are in a long-distance relationship that ended three years ago Deodorant is an absolute myth to you, right next to unicorns and a stable economy (Outro) I’m logging off Keep your loser simp energy away from me Projecting your fumes, got some cheese puffs stuck up your nose Up your ass, get off the couch you fat lez Cat litter at your front door, you're too lazy to change it Take your zero daily handouts and kick rocks Go find a hose
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