Automatic smile, head down low โSorryโ before I say hello Reach for something on the shelf Apologizing for myself Cart wheels turning, heartbeat too Feel it tighten when I move Like the air gets thin in stores Like I shouldnโt take up floors There it is that little squeeze Right beneath my ribs, it lives in me If Iโm gentle, Iโll be safe If Iโm small, Iโll keep my place Iโm walking on eggshells in daylight air Breathing shallow like beware Smiling wide so they can see I am not a threat, itโs just me Sorry for the space I take Sorry if Iโm in your way Thank you, please, I overplay Just so nothing tips today I know itโs layered, know itโs deep Stories that my shoulders keep Brown skin in fluorescent light Quiet like Iโm proving Iโm polite Family dinners, subtle shift Politics start to drift He speaks free, I brace inside Chest already tight with tide Time and place that was my rule Donโt be fire, donโt be fuel Respectful, measured, well-behaved But really just afraid But my chest is not a cage It learned to tighten, learned to gauge Storms that once were loud and near But not every room is built on fear I am not a warning sign I donโt owe the world a softened spine I can stand and take up air Without performing Iโm aware Iโm not walking on eggshells now Even when my heart beats loud I can fill my lungs and say โExcuse meโ without giving myself away I am not inconvenience I am not defense I was small so Iโd survive But I donโt have to shrink to stay alive
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