Oooh, behold the sunlit brute, the Asgard jock, The living, breathing, walking rock. His one solution? Let it... swing. The hammer, the arm, theβ¦ temperβ¦ anything. That hammer's dense, his skull's the same, It's barely worth to speak his name. A toddler's mind in a god's disguise, The light of vacant, empty eyes. He loves his feasts, he loves his mead, A simple god for a simple need! Don't bother with a clever plan, Just point that thing at what you can't stand. Oh, make way, make way, the Thunder Oaf is here, The reason for my migraine, the source of all my sneer. He'll hit it hard, he'll hit it true, What else is a thunder god to do? Yeah, hail the God of the Obvious blow! His celebrated, one-note show! That snake that circles Earth's domain? He'll fight it, for... no personal gain. He'll cross-dress for his precious tool, And play the lovesick, blushing fool. Such dazzling genius on display! It almost stole my breath away. To see the effort and the strain Inside that empty, hollow brain. Oh, make way, make way, the Thunder Oaf is here, The reason for my migraine, the source of all my sneer. He'll hit it hard, he'll hit it true, What else is a thunder god to do? Yeah, hail the God of the Obvious blow! His celebrated, one-note show! They'll sing his songs in smoky halls, The mightiest to ever swing and brawl. But when the stars all go to war, And Fate comes knocking at the door... No need to wonder, no need to guess, His victory march, his epic last stand, Is just nine steps backwards, through the poisoned sand. He'll count them out, one by one, Until his glorious reign is... done. The "God of Thunder", proud and true... Dies as he lived: with no clearer view. So crash a mug for the Thunder Oaf! The king of cave-man calculus and plough! Let Asgardβs idiot praises ring For the mighty, righty swing he throws! He'll hit it true! He'll hit it hard! A god empty inside, a cracked-up yard! Yeah, hail the lord of the dullard show! The deepest thought he'll ever know... ...is that I've spent more breath and wit on this pathetic song... than he has had his whole existence long.
