[Reggae – Bouncy, upbeat, storytelling groove with island flair] [Verse 1] Mi cousin bought a goat from a man on di street Said “He don’t eat much, and he smell real sweet” Brought him home, named him “Jerk” like a fool Now di goat’s runnin’ wild and chewin’ all the shoes! 👟🐐 [Verse 2] He jumped the fence, knocked down the bin Ate mi dad’s Bible, then headbutt mi twin 😳 Mi grandma shout, “That goat’s possessed!” Now we all sleepin’ in Kevlar vests [Chorus – Big and bouncy] 🎶 Auntie said don’t trust that goat! Eyes too shifty and he chew di remote! He got horns like a villain, tail like a rope Mi seh it once again — don’t trust that goat! 🎶 [Verse 3] He drank mi soda, stole mi plantain chips Broke mi mom’s vase, then licked his lips We tried to tie him up — nah man, he bit! I swear dis goat trained by a rebel unit! 🪖 [Bridge – Toast-style breakdown] 🎤 Goat in the yard, goat in the car, Goat done unlock mi phone so far! Goat in the kitchen, eatin’ mi rice Goat on mi roof now — Lord of Mice! 😩😂 [Chorus – Crowd sing-along] 🎶 Auntie said don’t trust that goat! He wink at strangers and wear mi coat He tried to file taxes and drive a boat Mi seh it once again — don’t trust that goat! 🎶 [Final Chorus – BIG, over-the-top, gospel choir style!] 🎶 Auntie said don’t trust that goat! Got a criminal record and too much float Mi seh mi peace, y’all take note — You mess with that goat, and you might get smote! 🎶 [Outro – fading with goat noises and laughter] Mehhhhhhh… 🎤 “He’s chewin’ mi laundry again! Lock the fridge!!” 🎤 “Wait—why does he have a cell phone?!?”
