walking home alone its late at night and its dark you hear a sound that almost stops your heart you turn around to face the sound and what you see turns you from an adult to a child instantly you stop and stare freeze in fear you feel warm on your legs (on no) you look down and youve pissed your pants wet patch on your kegs (again) you snap out of it and start to run your pissy legs chafing near your bum (ouch) you hear the monster start to come inappropriate moment would say some (ahem) running fast, as fast as the wind all of a sudden you hit your shin didnt see the step till it was too late 5 out of 5 the pain youd rate [squeal like a girl] (ahhhhhhh) now the monsters catching up to you you see the beast its in its full view it has pretty green eyes and it could split a melon between those thighs hold on i think i've been knocked out cos this isnt what a monster song should be about i play along and i ask her whats her name she says colin and eating you would be a shame you are fat and old and really out of shape eating you would be like eating masking tape (bit rude) ok i said so now what do we do cos is this as awkward for me as it is for you colin helped me up and wished me a good night i said fuck you colin and dashed off out of sight he shouted back eh mark fuck you too after i showed my compassionate side to you oh by the way you stink of piss stuck up his middle finger and said ear av some of this!
