Verse 1 I was king of the castle, the boss of the house, I could open a jar and I could scare off a mouse! I held the remote like a sceptre of gold, I had all the opinions, or so I was told! I said, “Woman, make dinner!” She said, “Make it yourself!” My favourite coffee mug got moved to the shelf! I went to give orders, but nobody came, Now I’m doing the laundry and remembering names! Pre-Chorus I used to be the captain, the lord of the land, Now she’s got the credit card and I’ve got the pan! I shouted, “I’m the man!” She just laughed in my face, Now I’m asking for permission to sit in my place! CHORUS Who stole my throne? Who took my crown? The women got together and they pulled me down! Hey! Hey! What can I say? They’ve taken the patriarchy away! Who stole my power? Who changed the game? They learned how to beat me at my own old game! Hey! Hey! Hip-hip-hooray! They’ve taken the patriarchy away! Verse 2 I used to mansplain how to change a tyre, She fixed it in five minutes — now I’m feeling tired! I tried to explain how the TV should work, She fixed it with one button — I looked like a berk! I said, “I’m the breadwinner!” She said, “That’s nice, dear, Your half of the mortgage is overdue this year!” I thought I was Hercules, strong as a bull, Then she asked me to vacuum — and my weekend was full! Pre-Chorus I used to make the rules, I was top of the tree, Now she’s asking for equality — what’s that got to do with me? She said, “Pull your own weight, mate, we’re partners, you see!” Now I’m king of the kitchen… with a tea towel for a crown on me! CHORUS Who stole my throne? Who took my crown? The women got together and they pulled me down! Hey! Hey! What can I say? They’ve taken the patriarchy away! Who stole my power? Who changed the game? They learned how to beat me at my own old game! Hey! Hey! Hip-hip-hooray! They’ve taken the patriarchy away! BRIDGE — Build it up! I can cook! (You can cook!) I can clean! (You can clean!) I can listen! (What a scene!) I can share! (That’s the deal!) Turns out equality is a pretty good feel! No more bossing! No more fuss! It’s not her against me — it’s a team, it’s us! She gets the power, I get respect, And I still get to choose what’s on Netflix! BREAKDOWN — Spoken “Darling, who’s the boss?” “She is!” “Who’s doing the dishes?” “You are!” “Who’s got the final say?” “We both do!” “Hang on a minute… I think we’re getting somewhere!” FINAL CHORUS — Everybody! Who stole my throne? Who took my crown? The women got together and they turned things around! Hey! Hey! What can I say? They’ve taken the patriarchy away! No more kings and no more queens, We’re the funniest partnership you’ve ever seen! Hey! Hey! Hip-hip-hooray! The old boys’ club has had its day! OUTRO — Chanting Where’s my throne? (In the shed!) Where’s my crown? (On your head!) Who’s the boss? (Nobody!) Who’s doing the washing? (Apparently, me!) Hey! Hey! Hip-hip-hooray! They’ve taken the patriarchy away! And I’m still looking for that remote…
