[Verse 1 - quiet, single piercing guitar, sparse] Mother, you disappeared inside the bottle, I stopped caring Terra, you looked through me like I was made of air Every hour, TV static screaming down the hall You behind a locked door, love learned to need nothing at all Opening cans of cold ravioli alone My gut growled but you never came home When you brought him through the door I would've followed any man who showed me how to be more [Pre-Chorus - building, distortion creeping in, synths rising] I did whatever you wanted I became whoever you needed Forced into a cookie cutter family mold With no mother to have my back [Chorus - grenade explosion, full band, voice cracking and soaring] I wanted you to call me special just once I wanted you to smile instead of reaching for the bottle I wanted you to be proud, not ashamed of what you made I wanted , but you never... You weren't a fucking mom [Verse 2 - drops to almost nothing, flat and cold, single guitar] I wasn't sick, just pretending to be I should never have skipped school I found you cold in the bed Your fan blowing on your half naked body I looked up at the ceiling fan Saw it turning and turning [Pre-Chorus 2 - hollow, flat delivery, drums barely there] There's no one left to please There's no one left to blame I stood next to Sean and the step strangers at your funeral Hope died in me and I was glad [Final Chorus - full explosion, then sudden quiet, voice at breaking point] It's a beautiful lie A beautiful disguise A beautiful lie I can't escape The Jimmy System got me under lock and key [Outro - single guitar, cold and distant, almost a whisper] I put on the cold armor But you taught me I threw away the little boy who needed anyone I walked away from James Varon and became Jimmy V
