Chapter IV : The Heart That Ate Itself

I haven't eaten a full meal since Tuesday I like the feeling of my ribs poking against my shirt It’s the only part of me he didn't touch I scrub my collarbones with bleach till the skin turns white and hot Trying to burn whatever grease my uncle left behind If I make myself small enough, maybe I’ll just disappear Maybe I’ll fit inside the wall studs where nobody can find me My mind is a dog that turned on its owner Chewing on its own tail in the dark I hate the way I walk, I hate the way I talk I hate this body for staying alive when it should’ve stopped The rot isn't outside anymore It’s in my lungs, it’s in my stomach, it’s eating me from the inside out And I’m letting it finish the job I look at old photos from middle school on the fridge And I want to strangle that little girl I want to tell her it’s her fault for standing too close to the window Her fault for wearing that dress, her fault for staying quiet It’s easier to hate myself than to hate the world Because I’m the one stuck in this skin My mind is a dog that turned on its owner Chewing on its own tail in the dark I hate the way I walk, I hate the way I talk I hate this body for staying alive when it should’ve stopped The rot isn't outside anymore It’s in my lungs, it’s in my stomach, it’s eating me from the inside out And I’m letting it finish the job It's eating me from the inside out Let it finish Let it finish