Verse 1 So I made a record And I put it in the shops And some people bought it And some people didn't And the world kept doing the exact same thing Verse 2 Somebody played it at a party Somebody skipped it in the car Somebody heard the one about the shift and thought about their job for eleven seconds and then the song ended and then they were fine Pre-Chorus That's allowed That's genuinely allowed Chorus If nothing happens If nothing happens I'll have made a decent record and got a haircut out of it If nothing happens If nothing happens Well, that's what usually happens Isn't it Verse 3 I had a theory It was a good theory I thought if you say the thing enough times in a shape people like they'll carry it home in their mouths and it'll grow Ask anybody who's tried that Ask the whole century Pre-Chorus It's fine I promise it's fine Chorus If nothing happens If nothing happens I'll have made a decent record and got a haircut out of it If nothing happens If nothing happens Well, that's what usually happens Isn't it Middle Eight (arrangement drops to organ and handclaps; tempo identical, no slowing) I'd like to be the one it worked for Everybody would Everybody thinks their year's the year And then it's a Tuesday and it's raining and you're in a shop and the thing you wrote is playing and nobody looks up Final Chorus (everything doubles in brightness — brass, extra claps, gang backing vocal for the only time since track 1) If nothing happens If nothing happens I'll have made a decent record and I'll have been very loud about it If nothing happens If nothing happens I'll do it again next year I'll do it again next year I'll do it again next year (hard stop on the downbeat)
