Verse 1) I stared at the screen till my eyes started burning Said I was blocking you, said I was turning Away from the mess and the words that we threw But morning came crawling and I missed the old you It’s Sunday night and the anxiety peaks You’ve been moving on for the last couple weeks I had to find out from a friend on the side That you’re not even hurting while I’m wrecked inside. (Verse 2) February was dark, it just shocked my whole system All of the updates, I sit here and miss them You shut me right out like there’s no point to stay No friendship, no sibling bond left anyway I’m having these sleepless nights over our name Stressing and crying and taking the blame But I’m cracking the door back open tonight If I give a fourth chance, you better act right. (Chorus) You were the poison, but I miss the routine Caught in the middle of a toxic machine I lost my anchor, then I lost my guide Now I’m just trying to survive the divide I’m holding the door open, staring at the floor Wishing we could fix the pieces of what we were before Yeah, I miss you, Landon, it’s hard to admit But I’m still standing right where we split. (Verse 3) I need to apologize for what I said then When the breakup hit hard and I spun out again Saying I’d hurt myself, saying I’m through I was in a bad place, but it wasn't just you The timing was wrong and the world fell apart But it was losing Karras that broke my whole heart The last time I saw him was Tuesday that week Before everything turned so lonely and bleak. (Verse 4) My ELT teacher said teachers were leaving I ran to fifth period, frantic and grieving I asked him right then, and he said "No, I'm staying" But after the class, I could hear what he was saying "Tutoring's canceled, I'm sick for a while" I stood there and cried, couldn't force out a smile Weeks started passing, I asked where he went A bad gut feeling was all that was sent. (Chorus) You were the poison, but I miss the routine Caught in the middle of a toxic machine I lost my anchor, then I lost my guide Now I’m just trying to survive the divide I’m holding the door open, staring at the floor Wishing we could fix the pieces of what we were before Yeah, I miss you, Landon, it’s hard to admit But I’m still standing right where we split. (Bridge) He quit the exact same day that you left Leaving me double-hit, completely bereft He was my safe place, my brother, my guide The one who heard everything I kept inside He listened to us, how you made me so glad He never judged once when the stories were bad I lost him and screamed, and I took it on you I thought if I yelled, I could make it all through. (Verse 5) You saw my evil side, the rage and the anger The broken new Tech who treats love like a stranger The old me was comforting, understanding, and kind But I lost everything and I went out of my mind I saw Knox in the room, it felt so out of place But I gave him a note just to fill up the space I hope Karras read it, I hope that he knows How much it hurt me when the safe doors closed. (Verse 6) Tomorrow in ELT, I just need to vent To get this anxiety out that was sent You don’t have to talk, you can just take the page Take the note from my hand, I'll step off the stage I’ll just walk away, keep it simple and clean Even if I have to call you to say what I mean Because if you don't read it, I'll ring up your phone And make you hear everything while I'm alone. (Chorus) You were the poison, but I miss the routine Caught in the middle of a toxic machine I lost my anchor, then I lost my guide Now I’m just trying to survive the divide I’m holding the door open, staring at the floor Wishing we could fix the pieces of what we were before Yeah, I miss you, Landon, it’s hard to admit But I’m still standing right where we split. (Outro) I know you said "I never loved you" back then But you just said that so you wouldn't hurt again Maybe you’re right, maybe we’ll find new lives But if we drain the poison, maybe love survives So ask how I'm doing tomorrow at school Even if I act distant and try to play cool The notes are all written, the lyrics are set I’m just not ready to log off just yet.
