[INTRO — DJ CHAMPIGNON] Minimal bass. Dark atmosphere. One microphone. One challenger. [DJ APPLE PEAR] Yo. Check my fruit style. [Silence] [DJ CHAMPIGNON] ...Seriously? [BEAT 1 — CHAMPIGNON] Boom. Tss. Boom-boom. Tss. [APPLE PEAR — SPOKEN] Apple! Pear! Everywhere! [CHAMPIGNON] No. [DROP — CHAMPIGNON] BOOM. BOOM. TSS. BOOM. [APPLE PEAR] Fresh beats! Fresh fruit! Everybody... SALUTE! [AWKWARD SILENCE] [CHAMPIGNON] Security? [BEAT 2 — APPLE PEAR] Wikka-wikka. Fruit salad. Wikka-wikka. Very talented. [APPLE PEAR — WHISPERED] Apple on the left. Pear on the right. Fruit explosion... TONIGHT! [CHAMPIGNON — DEADPAN] That was the explosion? [DUEL — ALTERNATING BASS] CHAMPIGNON: Dark. Deep. Control. APPLE PEAR: Fruit! Fruit! Rock and roll! CHAMPIGNON: Silence. Pressure. Power. APPLE PEAR: Peel it! Feel it! Happy hour! [CHAMPIGNON — BEAT CUT] You are embarrassing yourself. [APPLE PEAR] That's my brand! [CHAMPIGNON — FIRST MASSIVE DROP] BOOM — TSS! BOOM — TSS! DARKNESS! BASS! NO DISTRESS! [APPLE PEAR — HIS DROP] PLOP! PLOP! APPLE! PEAR! [Long awkward silence] [APPLE PEAR] It's experimental. [CHAMPIGNON] It's agricultural. [FINAL DUEL — BOTH BEATS COLLIDE] BOOM. PLOP. BOOM. PLOP. DARK! FRUIT! BASS! ROOT! [CHAMPIGNON] I own the night. [APPLE PEAR] I own the fruit! [CHAMPIGNON] You lost the fight. [APPLE PEAR] ...Can I open a juice booth? [FINAL BASS DROP] DJ CHAMPIGNON! DJ APPLE PEAR! ONE RULE: DON'T LET HIM NEAR THE EQ. [OUTRO — CHAMPIGNON] Next challenger? [APPLE PEAR — DISTANT] DJ Banana Split! [CHAMPIGNON] I'm going home.
