[Intro – smoky jazz club] [Upright bass. Soft brushed drums. Electric piano.] SAXOPHONE SOLO ODIN – spoken: Welcome to Valhalla. The mead is cold. The music is smooth. And Ragnarök doesn't start until closing time. [Verse 1 – smooth jazz] ODIN: When the moon hangs low on the halls of gold, And the fires of Asgard begin to glow, There's a place down beneath the ancient tree Where the gods come drink their troubles free. I've got a velvet rope at the door, Two ravens watching from the second floor. Thor likes whiskey, Loki likes gin, And Freya says the saxophone should begin. SAXOPHONE: [Slow, luxurious solo] ODIN: Welcome, warriors, leave your axes by the wall. Tonight, nobody's fighting in the hall. [Beat changes – drums become heavier] ODIN: Well... Nobody except Thor. [THOR – shouted from background] I SAID TURN IT UP! [Metal riff] [Chorus – Viking metal] CHOIR: WELCOME TO THE MIDNIGHT LOUNGE! WHERE THE GODS COME DOWN TO PLAY! DRINK YOUR MEAD AND HEAR THE SAX— RAGNARÖK CAN WAIT ANOTHER DAY! ODIN: Raise your horns! CHOIR: RAISE YOUR HORNS! ODIN: Feel the thunder! CHOIR: FEEL THE THUNDER! ODIN: But keep it smooth... CHOIR: KEEP IT SMOOOOOTH! [Heavy riff] [Verse 2 – jazz returns] ODIN: Loki's sitting in the corner With a smile upon his face, He's been changing everybody's drinks And disappearing without a trace. Freya's at the piano, Playing something soft and blue, While Heimdall guards the entrance— HEIMDALL: I CAN SEE ALL OF YOU! ODIN: Yes, Heimdall. We know. [Trumpet and saxophone interplay] ODIN: Balder's got a table, Tyr is nursing one hand, And Thor has ordered seven drinks— BARTENDER: Again? THOR: Again. [Metal guitar enters] ODIN: Then suddenly the heavens shake... SFX: DISTANT THUNDER ODIN: The wolves begin to howl... SFX: HOWLING ODIN: The Bifrost starts to crack... HEIMDALL: Odin. ODIN: Yes? HEIMDALL: Ragnarök. ODIN: Already? HEIMDALL: I'm afraid so. ODIN: Tell them to wait. [Brief silence] HEIMDALL: They say no. [Massive guitar riff] [Chorus] CHOIR: WELCOME TO THE MIDNIGHT LOUNGE! THE FINAL NIGHT IS HERE! THE GIANTS ARE AT THE DOOR TONIGHT— SO SOMEBODY ORDER BEER! ODIN: The world's about to end! THOR: FINALLY! ODIN: But first... [Saxophone enters] ODIN: One last song. [Extended jazz/metal instrumental] [Saxophone solo over increasingly heavy guitars] [Thor joins with enormous war horn] [Drums accelerate] [Choir chants] CHOIR: VALHALLA! VALHALLA! VALHALLA! [Music suddenly drops back to smooth jazz] [Verse 3] ODIN: Now the stars are falling, The oceans rise below, Fenrir's off his leash again, And everybody knows... The world's about to perish, The final battle's near, But somebody dim the lights... BARTENDER: Why? ODIN: The sax player's almost here. [Saxophone solo] ODIN: Pour another mead, my friend, Let the ancient records spin. If this truly is the final night, We might as well go out with a grin. [Bridge – quiet] ODIN: I have seen the future. I have seen the end. I have watched the mighty fall And rise again. But tonight beneath these golden lights, I don't need to know what's coming. Tonight... We play. [Soft saxophone] [Then massive metal explosion] CHOIR: RAGNARÖK! ODIN: BRING THE THUNDER! THOR: BRING THE HAMMERS! LOKI: Bring the appetizers! ODIN: Loki! LOKI: What? [Final Chorus – gigantic] CHOIR: WELCOME TO THE MIDNIGHT LOUNGE! THE FINAL NIGHT HAS COME! THE GODS WILL DRINK! THE GODS WILL SING! THE SAXOPHONE WILL RUN! ODIN: Raise your horns! CHOIR: RAISE YOUR HORNS! ODIN: Raise your glass! CHOIR: RAISE YOUR GLASS! ODIN: When Ragnarök comes knocking— THOR: MAKE HIM PAY THE COVER CHARGE! [Huge riff] CHOIR: WELCOME TO THE MIDNIGHT LOUNGE! WHERE THE ANCIENT AND THE NEW COLLIDE! WITH A SAXOPHONE IN THE LEFT HAND— AND A BATTLE AXE BESIDE! [Saxophone solo over crushing guitars] [Choir chants] CHOIR: ODIN! ODIN! ODIN! [Odin – laughing] ODIN: Same time tomorrow? [Everyone pauses] THOR: Tomorrow doesn't exist. ODIN: Right. [Beat] ODIN: Then make it tonight. [Final saxophone note] [One enormous Viking metal chord] [Silence]
