[Intro] Yo, man... she’s doing it again. She’s seeing ghosts, man. I’m just trying to eat my cereal! Yo, I hear you, bro. Just tell her the truth. [Verse 1 - Rhythmic Patter] Honey came in and she caught me red-handed Staring at the wall, yeah, just like I planned it She said "Who’s that girl in the kitchen making toast?" I said "Honey, that’s a toaster, you’re seeing a ghost!" She saw a long hair on the rug in the hall I said "That’s. From. The. GOLDEN-RETRIEVER, that’s all!" She saw a lipstick mark on my brand new shirt I said "That’s strawberry jam, why you gotta be hurt?" [Chorus] [Lead] But she saw me by the window [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] Said she saw me with a widow [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She even said she saw the shadow [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She’s lookin' for a battle [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She said she smelled some perfume [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] I said "Babe, that’s the Febreze broom" [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] I stayed on her mind like a tattoo [Lead] But I’m just. SITTIN' here. Watchin'. CAR-TOONS! [Verse 2 - Rhythmic Patter] Yo, picture this: I’m in the shower, singing my song She bursts through the door like I’m doing her wrong "Who you talking to in there?" she starts to yell I said "I’m talking to the soap, can’t you tell?" She checked my phone, saw a name "Delivery" She said "Who is this girl? Give her to me!" I said "That’s. The. PIZZA-GUY. His. Name. Is. Steve!" You’re just looking for a reason for me to leave! [Chorus] [Lead] But she saw me in the driveway [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] Said I had a girl in the valet [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She saw a blonde in the hallway [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] That was just a mop, babe, anyway [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She said she heard a girl giggle [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] That was just the bed frame wiggle [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] I’m an innocent man, it’s a tragedy [Lead] Why you always gotta be so mad at me? [Verse 3 - Rhythmic Patter] She’s scrolling through the Gram, looking for a crime I’m just liking photos of a vintage synth, this time! She said "Who is this girl? You liked her beach photo!" I said "Babe, look closer, that’s a picture of a dodo!" She saw a 'DM' notification on the screen She started screaming like a digital drama queen I said "Open it up, don't be so quick to judge" It was a. LINKED-IN. REQUEST. From. A. Guy. Named. BUDGE! [Bridge] Man, you gotta keep your cool. I’m trying, man! But she’s checking my receipts for "hidden messages" in the barcodes! It’s wild out here! [Instrumental Solo] [Chorus] [Lead] But she saw me by the window [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] Said she saw me with a widow [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She even said she saw the shadow [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She’s lookin' for a battle [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] She said she smelled some perfume [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] I said "Babe, that’s the Febreze broom" [Group Vocals, Sharp] (It wasn't me!) [Lead] I stayed on her mind like a tattoo [Lead] But I’m just. SITTIN' here. Watchin'. CAR-TOONS! [Outro] It wasn't me... I was just playing Xbox, babe. I don't even know a girl named "Janice." That was a telemarketer!
