Made for a Discord challenge 🐝😂 Pick an animal, make a song about it — any style, any angle, but everything you say about the animal has to be true. No children's songs. I picked the bumblebee queen. This is what happened. [Intro] Woke up underground Hungry as fuck Mated last summer Guess who's still stuck Spring's up there Flowers are open ...shit. I was kinda hoping I wouldn't wake up. [Verse 1] Nectar first Get the body running Find a dry hole Start apartment hunting Old mouse nest Smells like ass Honestly? I've lived in worse than that Make my own wax Build my own cup Bring home pollen Fill that bitch up Lay the eggs Keep 'em warm Shiver all night Then fly out for more [Pre-Chorus] Wait a minute Let me get this straight I fucked once Slept all winter Woke up starving Homeless And pregnant with a workforce [Spoken] No. Technically not pregnant. Don't fucking start. [Chorus] That dick was not worth this Not even close One little mating Now I'm running the whole show Shake that ass Warm those babies Fly my ass back out again That dick was not worth this But here we fucking go. [Verse 2] Weeks go by My girls break through Fresh little wings Got a job for you You get pollen You get nectar You stay home Keep shit together Look at that A functioning staff Mama finally Gets to park her ass I'll lay the eggs You feed the brood Everybody's working Damn. This is good. [Spoken] See? Delegation. [Chorus] That dick was not worth this But look at me now Built this whole operation From a fucking mouse house Got my daughters Running shifts While I'm laying batch by batch That dick was not worth this But damn I built all that. [Verse 3] Late summer Nature gets weird Time for the boys Nobody fucking cheered No fertilization Still get sons That's literally How this shit gets done They grow up They leave the nest Never come back God fucking bless Feed themselves Cruise around Looking for queens To mate with [Spoken] That's the whole career plan? ... Of course it is. [Bridge] Then come the big girls Future queens Fed for the winter Living the dream Eat your fill Go find a male Get yourself mated Then get the hell out Find some soil Dig down deep Sleep through winter Wait for spring And the rest of us? Yeah. [Break] Workers? Dead. Males? Dead. Me? Also fucking dead. The nest? Gone. [Spoken] Beautiful system. No notes. [Final Chorus] That dick was not worth this But I did my part Built a whole damn kingdom With a mouse hole start Raised the workers Raised the queens Kept the whole damn thing alive That dick was not worth this But my daughters get another try. [Outro] Somewhere underground One of them sleeps Mated Fed Buried deep Winter passes Spring rolls in She wakes up hungry ... [Spoken, different female voice] Fuck.
