Hope Yall Like Sand

[INTRO — Tropical steel drums, playful island guitar, ocean waves, jingling sleigh bells. A heavy Tampa jook bass beat drops after four bars. Female spoken vocal, cheeky Southern attitude.] Ho, ho, hold up! Y’all came to Florida looking for a white Christmas? Baby, the only thing white down here is the sand! (DJ, jingle them bells!) [VERSE 1 — FEMALE SOUTHERN RAP | BOUNCY TAMPA JOOK FLOW] Palm trees wrapped in Christmas lights, Flip-flops on a December night. Santa got his sleeves rolled high, Sweat dripping down his beard by five. Neighbor got a snowman in his yard, Plastic one, ‘cause the real one’s hard. Weather man said eighty degrees, Rudolph underneath a palm tree! Got a wreath on the front screen door, Sandy footprints on the kitchen floor. Mama said, “Where the snowflakes at?” I said, “Girl, we ain’t got none of that!” [PRE-CHORUS — MELODIC FEMALE VOCAL | STEEL DRUMS AND BELLS] You can keep your winter wonderland, Your frozen toes and your snowball plans. We got sunshine, we got a tan, And if you want a white Christmas… [CHORUS — BIG SINGALONG HOOK | BOUNCY JOOK BASS, SLEIGH BELLS, TROPICAL GUITAR] Hope y’all like sand! (Hey!) Ain’t no snowflakes falling on this land! (Nope!) Got a Christmas tree and a drink in my hand, Santa’s coming barefoot, hope y’all like sand! Jingle them bells, let the bassline bang! Whole block bouncing while the palm trees sway! No snow, no sleigh, but we got a plan, It’s a Florida Christmas, hope y’all like sand! (Sand, sand, hope y’all like sand!) (Jingle-jingle, let the whole block jam!) [VERSE 2 — PLAYFUL RHYTHMIC RAP | COWBELLS, CLAPS, DEEP 808] Coquito in the cup, no eggnog here, Coconut Christmas, best time of year. Pasteles on the table, somebody brought pie, Uncle on the grill with a Santa hat high. Cousin from Chicago said, “This ain’t right, Christmas oughta be cold outside!” I said, “Go stand in the freezer then, We got eighty-five degrees and a Gulf Coast wind!” Snowbirds rolling down Dale Mabry, Christmas lights blinking on the palm trees. Ybor got the music, Bayshore got the breeze, And the whole damn city dancing Christmas Eve! [PRE-CHORUS — FEMALE SUNG VOCAL | HARMONIES BUILD] You can keep your winter wonderland, We got warm Gulf water and a reggae band. Put your cold-weather coat back in your van, And get down here dancing! [CHORUS — FULL JOOK BEAT | GROUP CHANTS AND JINGLING BELLS] Hope y’all like sand! (Hey!) Ain’t no snowflakes falling on this land! (Nope!) Got a Christmas tree and a drink in my hand, Santa’s coming barefoot, hope y’all like sand! Jingle them bells, let the bassline bang! Whole block bouncing while the palm trees sway! No snow, no sleigh, but we got a plan, It’s a Florida Christmas, hope y’all like sand! [BREAKDOWN — BEAT CUTS TO SLEIGH BELLS, COWBELLS, HANDCLAPS, AND SUB-BASS. FEMALE CALL-AND-RESPONSE.] Where the snow at? (Ain’t none!) Where the cold at? (Gone, son!) Where the party? (Right here!) What we drinking? (Coquito, dear!) Left foot in the sand! Right foot in the sand! Shake them Christmas presents, Put your hands up if you can! [J O O K DANCE BREAK — 16 BARS | PUNCHY TAMPA BASS, FAST CLAPS, STEEL DRUM RIFFS, SYNCOPATED SLEIGH BELLS, FEMALE AD-LIBS] (Jingle that!) (Jook that!) (Santa better move that sleigh!) (Hey! Hey! Hey!) [BRIDGE — BREEZY TROPICAL MELODY | GUITAR, SOFT BELLS, WARM FEMALE VOCAL] Somewhere there’s a fireplace, Snow falling on a windowpane. But down here by the Tampa Bay, We celebrate another way. Same old love, same Christmas cheer, Just a little more sunshine here. And wherever you may stand, Merry Christmas from the sand! [FINAL CHORUS — EXPLOSIVE FULL PRODUCTION | JOOK BASS, BRASS STABS, STEEL DRUMS, SLEIGH BELLS, PARTY CHANTS] Hope y’all like sand! (Hey!) Ain’t no snowflakes falling on this land! (Nope!) Got a Christmas tree and a drink in my hand, Santa’s coming barefoot, hope y’all like sand! Jingle them bells, let the bassline bang! Whole block bouncing while the palm trees sway! No snow, no sleigh, but we got a plan, It’s a Florida Christmas, hope y’all like sand! [OUTRO — BEAT STRIPS BACK TO STEEL DRUMS AND BELLS, OCEAN WAVES RETURN] Merry Christmas, Tampa! And to everybody waiting on a blizzard… Bless your frozen little hearts! (One last bass hit, sleigh bells jingle, ocean wave fades.) [END]